“Good cop and bad cop left for the day. I’m a different kind of cop.”
“Good guy, bad guy, I am a guy with boomstick”
-Evil dead: Army of darkness.
“I am a well behaved mentally retarded child”
-SwampFox56
:lol:
Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker!
auto-quote?
Your mother sucks cocks in Hell, Karras, you faithless slime.
“If it weren’t for gravity, WE’D ALL FLOAT INTO SPACE!”
“This, recruits, is a 20-kilo ferris slug, feel the weight. Every five seconds, the main gun of an everest class dreadnought accelerates one to 1.3% of light-speed. It impacts with the force of a 38-kiloton bomb! That is three times the yield of the city-buster dropped on Hiroshima back on Earth! That means- Sir Issac Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-bitch in space!”
“I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.
…
That is a joke.”
“There is a high statistical probability of death by gunshot. A punch to the face is also likely.”
“I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.”
Seems like I can only remember mostly funny lines, not awesome ones. Oh well.
“Be adequate!”
“There she is, William. The embodiment of love. Your Venus.”
“And how I hate her.”
“When I was your age, television was called books.”
“This is…it’s green.”
“Hell yeah! Put more of the stuff…in the thing more stuff goes in.”
“I said I never had much use for one. Never said I didn’t know how to use it.”
“The video arcade is down the street. Here, we just sell little rectangular objects called ‘Books’. They require a little effort on your part and make no bee-bee-bee-bee-beeps. On your way!”
"The Babel fish is small yellow and leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy received not from its own carrier, but from those around it. It absorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with. It then excretes into the mind of its carrier a telepathic matrix formed by combining the unconscious thought frequencies with nerve signals picked up from the speech-centers of the brain which has supplied them. The practical upshot of this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language. The speech patterns you actually hear decode the brainwave matrix which has been fed into your mind by your Babel fish.
“Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindbogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument goes something like this: “I refuse to prove that I exist,” says God, “for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.”
“But,” says Man, “the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn’t it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves that you exist, and so therefore you don’t. QED.”
“Oh dear,” says God, “I hadn’t thought of that,” and promptly disappears in a puff of logic.
“Oh, that was easy,” says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is whte and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing. Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo’s kidneys, but that did not stop Oolon Colluphid making a small fortune when he used it as the central theme of his best selling book ‘Well That About Wraps It Up For God’. Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different race and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.”
“Ford, you’re turning into a penguin. Stop it!”
“Pretend I’m Harry Tuttle.”
“What?”
“I’m a heavily armed, ill tempered heating engineer who’s asking questions about your ventilation system.”
“I guess, it hasn’t been working properly since the blackout.”
“So it wouldn’t take much to shut down that big fan if I wanted to.”
“Why would you want to do that?”
“The adventure. The travel.”
“…Okay…?”
“where am I gonna find a piece of metal? here… in space… at this hour…?”
"- holy-gosh-golly-gee-willickers-zippity-doo, Batman! those police men are pretty rude!
- Robin, law-enforcement officers are the backbone of our society
(the cops show them their asses) - mother f***ers!"
That guy…
“That’s what she said!” - Only quote you’ll ever need IMO.
Girl at the beach one day a few summers ago
“This sand is so grainy”
I fucking lost it man.
oh sand you so grainy
hahaha
She’s a keeper.
Life is like a dog:
Sometimes white,
Sometimes black,
Sometimes motley!