- When a creepy man appears in a blue suit, do not try to run. Because he will find you… D: Unless you have lots of vortigaunts to protect you.
- that if a train is headed from city 14 to city 17 at approx. 60 mph and another train is headed the opposite direction at 45 mph AND if you happen to appear out of nowhere on the first train because a inter-dimensional man put you there to work for his employers…nobody would give a shit.
true fact ^
do the math
- Crowbars are for more than just opening crates
- “The military is an asshole”
- Barney is indestructible
- Pay attention to minefield signs
- Aliens from Xen can survive toxic waste spills without an HEV suit
- A game can be awesome even with a serious lack of music
230.To catch friends later to buy them a beer.
- Jumping will make you go faster.
- Opening the elevator doors, and closing it again - You wont need to take the elevator.
- Soldiers can’t aim for shit, and they turn their back on you if you rush to them.
- Driving takes no hands.
(Dunno if any of those have been brought up already though)
- get the fuck out of my internet
- that the mp5 is actually an assault rifle and not a SMG
- tranquilizer guns are more efficient at killing icthysauruses then common explosives
- Thinks will wildly flail around if you don’t hold them right.
239: Regardless of what Gordon Freeman tells you, using a crowbar vs. a Tank is NOT a good idea.(L4D2 joke)
I beg to differ.
240: Evidently some people who have a Ph.D in physics also have one in charisma, to convince people that aliens invading us is a good thing.
241: A glock can be reloaded an infinite amount of times without wasting any ammunition.
you’re not funny
stop posting here
- Effects of stasis include loss of weapons, loss of HEV suit, and loss of ponytail…
243: The best way to destroy an enemy is to turn them into horrible monsters that are even harder to kill than the people they were.
244: Universities apparently teach their students how to operate all forms of weaponry including advanced future technology
235: People with glasses are immune to headcrabs
236: Headcrabs die of malnutrition when they zombify a dumb person
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Young women wearing vests can take thousands of bullets while telling you you should get going.
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One scientist and an unarmored woman with a handgun is a perfect squad to take down a planet dominating race.
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An enemy force that is capable of taking over the entire planet in 7 hours will conveniently only send slowly increasingly powerful forces at you at that same rate your arsenal increases.
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Huddling in a group preventing the only effective soldier you have from moving is good military strategy.
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Elite military soldiers are so well trained they often forget the simple things, like running away from a live grenade you just set on the ground.
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A beret is just as effective protective head gear as a military helmet.
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Secret government facilities are often built with useless rooms that have deep drops and limited security precautions.
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Scientists don’t stand on ceremony. If you are lookin’ rough they’ll stab you in the chest with healing serum as you stand, which they often simply carry around with them. Just in case.
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No elevators have any safety features and if you ride one during incidents you will fall and die every time.
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Crazy religious leaders have surprisingly good aim/survival skills/ and mechanical ingenuity.
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Giant synthetic monsters are dangerous, unless blown up. Their automobile size debris is harmless.
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Flashlights drain power faster than an industrial sized air conditioner.
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Crowbars can smash many things, but can pry nothing.
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Bullet proof glass is also rocket, grenade, and giant metal beam proof.
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After taking over your planet alien forces will leave barrels filled with explosive fluid just sitting around everywhere, but wouldn’t be helpful at all to most common citizens who might consider a terrorist resistance.
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Trains are lousy get away vehicles.
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Thankfully obstacles that must be physically moved to proceed to your goal won’t come up until you have a tool to accomplish this task.
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A third mostly useless hand in the middle of your chest is still really cool, and that’s why you befriend aliens with three hands without questioning their true intentions.
If you break glass while near a stalled elevator, the elevator will fall.
Same goes for pushing the call button of that elevator.
Broken elevators spawn pristine batteries.
- Batteries heal every suit ever
- Sharks don’t need the jaws theme to be fucking scary
- Crossbows kill much faster than a machine gun, a shotgun, a revolver, and a pistol.
- Ammo immediately shrinks down into your pocket/ass until you need more, to which it magically grows back into shooting size.
- If you want to be a scientist, make sure you’re good at shooting guns.
- The Black Mesa Facility is the reason New Mexico is so goddamn hot
- Vents are more effective than elevators.
- Marines are idiots, and H.E.C.U. probably stands for Hell, Even Crapforbrains like Us-can-get-a-job.
- Everything a crowbar hits sounds like metal.
- Girl headcrabs are the ones with ballsacks, as proven by the Gonarch.
- If the Gonarch lets out its elephant-screech with the volume turned high, it will scare every and any cat in the room.
- Headcrab + Vent equals nightmares forever.
271: Barnacles are like the ants of the upside down world. They can lift and eat things 10x their size.