100 things HL tought us

Half-Life Series
#1

post ´em here!

1.Scis with glasses are like John Maclain

2.Glasses never break

3.You never lose glasses

4.You can speack with people without saying anything.

5.every lab has an assload of twins

6.go on…

(if there was anything like this before,pls instand delete this,the search funktion didnt show anything,so…)

#2
  1. Portal technology is bad fuckin news.
#3

  1. Asian chicks are actually black

  2. Black guys are actually white

  3. White guys are totally white

  4. crowbars only weigh about two ounces

#4

  1. Don’t fuck with aliens

  2. Don’t fuck with anti matter particles

  3. Just because it looks friendly, that dosn’t mean it is.

#5
  1. Going up ladders is actually really easy
#6
  1. You can walk for hours in the same suit without using a toilet
#7
  1. Morphine is a wonder drug that causes no real side effects what-so ever and is perfect for when you fall great lengths
#8
  1. Never put a cat in a teleporter.
#9
  1. All scientists are crazy, no exception.
  2. Hitting something with a crowbar three times will reduce it to tiny pieces, unless it’s a locked door.
#10
  1. Whenever there is a massive floating baby, just crack open its skull and throw grenades inside.
#11
  1. when working in a top secret laboratory, always wear roller skates to work :slight_smile:
#12
  1. There’s the possibility that a twenty-year window of time separates you from the beer you ordered.
#13

The half life series has tought me: (started a sublist because of the epic length of my post)

  1. All security guards sound vaguely like inspector gadget.

  2. Automatic doors open for everyone EXCEPT you.

  3. Elevator shafts never have working elevators unless they’re over 30 years old. When they don’t work, there’s not just one long service ladder, but a shitload of service ladders on varying walls. The scaffolding only protrudes 1 1/2 feet out the walls.

  4. If you stand on a wooden plank, bend down, and grab the edge of the plank you will levitate.

  5. Crossbow arrows don’t lose momentum when fired. They aren’t affected by gravity either.

  6. If you are under water and see a shark, stand on top of it. It will fly upwards out of the water, and will continue to do so until it hits something. If there is a Helicopter nearby, the shark will destroy it.

  7. Land mines are very large and have bright glowing lights on the top. They even tell you when they are armed.

:sunglasses: Zombies love icing and The Flintstones. They also shamble, reguardless of unmarked/ uninjured legs.

  1. If a scientist is injured, he will T-bag the ground when you approach him.

  2. Scientists are harmless, useless and defenseless. They complain about everything, and they most CERTAINLY do not study their surroundings to advance their culture and species. No. They tell other people they’re needed in the test chamber. Half an hour ago, to be exact. They also think that’s fascinating. Nothing in particular, just “that”.

  3. You can fit an infinite amount of mines in a helicopter.

  4. Bullets don’t effect your friends. Try it, it will go right through them.

Fuckit_I’m_not_numbering_these) It takes SEVERAL crowbar impacts to the head to kill, and the skull does not break.

Dead bodies are indestructible.

All wooden planks brake in the middle, even if shot/ bludgeoned anywhere else.

If you rupture an oil drum, it will explode. Even in the bullet impact does not create a spark, or if it falls from a great hight and has no reason to ignite.
If you dream of cheese and NOTHING but cheese for one night. You have to announce it in the middle of a firefight. No matter what.

When this is over, I’m gonna mate… Just kidding, I can’t hit SHIT… :frowning:

Various men in suits fill up television screens. When one of those men has been stalking you and shows up on TV, the dude watching the TV does not explain what the fuck he’s doing on there.

When you run out of air underwater, you go “hup…hup…hup…hup” Instead of “MMMMMMFMFMMFMMHMHMHMMHMHMHM!!!”

According to the OTHER man in a suit on TV, I have destroyed so much.

If you walk into some stranger’s appartment while he’she’s watching TV, rip their TV out of the wall, and toss it out of the window they don’t get mad. In fact, they’re greatful…

You can heal yourself just by looking at a spinning metal plate on a box.

If there’s a small lose object on the ground, and you step on it, you get launched 50 feet in the air. You can’t get hurt from hitting your head.

…

That’s all I can think of.

#14
  1. To abide by certain restrictions.
#15
  1. to prepare for unforseen consequences.

Come on, you knew it was coming.

#16
  1. It’s ok to kill fellow co-workers. Well, some of them.
#17
  1. If you kill ONE person who usually opens a door for you, the door never opens, you can never advance your life because of this, the universe won’t work correctly, and you will have to restart your life.
#18
  1. Small, fleshy pods that attempt to attach to your head and change your physical anatomy while making you quasi mindless, can be family friendly pets so long as you remove the teeth inside of its gaping mouth.
#19
  1. Large rockets launched vertically, will instantaneously dissapear after approx. 15 seconds
  2. Green glowing liquids are bad
#20

You can hit a dead body with a crowbar so fast, that you don’t even see the crowbar move.

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