272: who needs hands when you can drive a car with your mind
273: Authority figures never abuse their power, they just teach you important lessons, like how to pick up a can.
- And when said authority figures sees you do not do as such, they beat the fuck outta you.
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By lifting something you are standing on, you can, in fact, propel yourself up into the air.
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You can run backwards, full sprint while firing a shotgun and reload without tripping, falling or breaking pace.
- You can climb ladders with suprising speed, without using your hands…
- Even though you should be holding on to a ladder, you can move around on it with great freedom.
(How do you know if you’re playing a Source game? Climb a ladder.)
279: When on a ladder, the only way to get off is to jump.
- Secret government funded labs make a habit of hiring scientists who are as pale as vampires and have a lot of identical siblings
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If you want your own television show, betray your species and make a pact with an organization of inter-planetary dictators. It’s fun.
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Human reproduction is bad. Suppress it.
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When not suppressing, push your black-Asian daughter on a colleague and long-time friend twice her age.
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the larger variety of alien tripod bugs can shoot dimension-distorting radiation plasma rays out of their 10 foot sausage. The smaller shoot knives. Biology!
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When normal nuclear reactors go critical, it’s a good thing. When Combine nuclear reactors go critical, it’s a very very bad thing.
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Aliens love classical music.
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No matter what you do, shit will always go wrong.
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There is always a cliff hanger.
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Gordon will never get that beer.
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(Gordon takes a vow of silence)
- FLASH! City Scanners hurt my eyes. :tired:
- Never leave any area unexplored, regardless of the risk!!!
I think were a bit over 100 lessons learned from HL. 
- People with higher authority than you will sound like metal when hit in the face by a crowbar. Try it.
- The more you get pissed at game developers delaying the release of your most anticipated piece of software, the longer it takes them to finish it.
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Patience
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Number 297 will be released next year.
Well played.
When approaching a barn that’s supposed to house friends, use caution. If a man in a suit walks into it, then stay the hell out.
- THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH WEIGHT!
- People who are anticipating an amazing piece of software have no idea how to count to 100.
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Medics heal best through handshakes
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Earthquakes only occur 2 days after you broke it.
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Russian priests are really f’ing scary
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If it sounds like it came from a poem by Poe, don’t go there. (Ravenholm)
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Boats have as little traction on lands as they do on water.
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All boxes contain either: a) useless papers, b) batteries perfect for your suit, c) guns, d) empty air.
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Fans cannot circulate air if an intact 2by4 exists within 100 feet.
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Fans can only be turned on by climbing through their blades.
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Fans can make people fly if that person jumps on top of them.
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Barnacles have infinite stomachs where headcrabs are concerned (see Opposing force)
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ANYTHING can be reprogrammed in 10 seconds.
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Motion detecting door openers fail.
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Crouching allows you to shrink to a single foot tall. (see Ravenholm spinning blades)
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You will only receive an rpg directly before a helicopter attack.
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Boxes of ammunition are, in fact, portals to a dimension of ammunition factories.
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Enemies never use their weapons secondaries unless you are nearly dead.
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Antlions breed faster than it is humanly possible to kill them.
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Large explosions are more likily to kill you the father you are away from them.
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Climbing a ladder prevent being killed by alien tentacles.
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The combine technology is only superior when used by the resistance (see Dog, AR2, etc.)
321: When a couple of scientists walk into the line of sight of a soldier, they always have to run away before they shoot.
322: In the middle of a firefight, trained soldiers will throw grenades at eachother.