I got to thinking the other day, and I decided my lack of success with the ladies can be remedied if I build up a large repertoire of maths/physics jokes
(Disclaimer: The author takes no responsibility for immediate crushing failure of this thread)
A couple:
Two cats on a roof, which one falls off first?
The one with the lowest mew
A neutron walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He finishes and asks how much he owes. The bartender says, “for you sir, no charge” (From fallout 3)
Any more?
No it can’t.
Why do photons have no weight?
Because they’re rather light.
:facepalm:
Is your name inspired by personal experience?
Why is six afraid of seven? Because Seven eight Nine!
:retard:
Yes, I had a horrible accident when I was 9 that involved me, the fridge, a ride on lawnmower and several small rodents.
Aren’t jokes supposed to be funny?
Old as internet, but still.
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
If you don’t find them funny, well, there’s probably hope for you yet
Me, I reckon they’re great 
An infinite crowd of mathematicians enters a bar.
The first one orders a pint, the second one a half pint, the third one a quarter pint…
“I understand”, says the bartender - and pours two pints
A proton walks into a bar, and asks the bartender for a 100 beers. The bartender is pretty surprised by this and says “Are you sure?” and the proton replies “I’m positive”.
Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
Another Fallout 3 gem.
I actually feel pretty bad about finding a few of these funny :fffuuu: .
According to recent surveys, 51% of the people are in the majority.
80% of all statistics are false.
60% of the time, it works every time.
what’s smaller than a quark?
YOR PENIS HURR
Find a bumper-sticker that says, “Heisenberg may have slept here.”
Here’s a whole bunch of physics-based one-liners. Enjoy.
i quite liked this one
If the Titanic had struck a Heisenberg, would it still be floating?
Best one ever.
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