Imagine this Assassin:
You are a 17 year old girl living with your mother. Imagine it. You are a girl.
You go to school, get average grades, have a little job as a waitress. You have a mother, and two stupid brothers who always make trouble. Your mother barely raised the three of you, so instead of giving YOU the best life she could, she gave three children some kind of life, because she was always told abortion was bad, but you respect her for being strong. Your father basically died or left you.
You also have a vagina. But you live in a strange country where sexuality and urges are dirty and evil things. You have a vague idea what sex is, your mother mentioned it once, but you did not dare to ask further. Your girlfriends tell you that if sperm somehow comes into your body, even if it’s in the water you drink, you will produce a child. You feel how your body gets excited sometimes when you look at some boys, and you long for someone who would touch you tenderly, and ease your hard life a bit that way.
So you go on a date and make out a little and after several months your boyfriend tells you that if he pulls it out quickly enough you won’t get pregnant. It sounds a bit too good to be true. You tell him you don’t want to do it. You really liked him and he did everything for you but suddenly he gets violent and hold you down and rapes you. He performs coitus interruptus, but of course you get pregnant nevertheless. You notice it after several weeks and do not know what to do. You want to go to the police but you are too ashamed. You don’t know whom to tell. Your mother is tired from working 12 hours a day you do not want to upset her. Your brothers still think babies come out of a woman’s ass. On top of that you have to attend class every day with the boy who raped you. You decide to go to the doctor’s; you know he has to keep it confidential. He makes an ultrasound and tells you with a serious face that the baby is not doing well. He tells you that you need treatment, but your health insurance does not cover all the pills. The doctor tells you that your baby will likely be handicapped. Also as this is your first baby and you have to take pills to help your baby, but your insurance does not pay the pills for you, there is a risk. These pills likely will influence your blood. So when you get the baby you might lose to much blood and die.
You do not know what to do. Your mother comes home one day andtells you she lost her job. Your grades at school naturally suffer. It gets harder and harder to study or to work (you are pregnant). On top of this the boy who raped you now tells everyone how you cried while you were having “sex” with him. The pregnancy starts to show, you don’t want to go anywhere anymore. Your mother is beginning to notice.
You are afraid of the boy who raped you, of the school and the classmates, that the baby might be handicapped, that you might die, that your mother will be upset when she finds out, that everyone thinks that you are a bad girl. That you will not have enough money to pay for the baby, that you will all lose your home, that you will be a bad mother, because you do not know a thing about being a mother. Most of all you are afraid to be a burden upon everyone else.
My question now Assassin is: What will you do?