So I got wrangled into taking a road trip to Las Vegas and spending a week there. I have little clue as to what to do there, aside from gambling, which I ain’t gonna do. Anyone have any first hand experience about what stuff in Las Vegas is cool and what I should skip? I’ve heard there’s some interesting museums and the Hoover Dam to go to, but other than that I don’t really know what I’m gonna do all week.
hookers
Last time I was in Vegas I found a busted up robot. Found some parts and made me my own robo-buddy. It’s name is ED-E =D
Go to free side and try and take over everything armed oh with a switchblade.
On a more serious note, you might wanna try the rollercoaster at New York, New York. There’s also a restaurant there that serves really, really good pizza.
Caesars is a nice hotel, but avoid the poker room.
Harrahs has cheap poker tournaments every few hours all day long.
I think the Golden Nugget poker room shorted me some money when I bought in the last time I was there…
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Go to Freemont Street. They have a lot of little sideshow acts all day/night long. It’s a fun place to be. The light show at night is entertaining as well.
the Bellagio fountain show is also entertaining. It runs every 30 minutes with about five or six different songs they cycle through.
Oh, yeah, the fountains are great. You should probably check those out.
It is a very fun coaster indeed.
New York New York has a few good places to eat.
The Imperial Plaza has a cheap but good buffet on the second floor (it’s up a nearly hidden escalator and around a corner, but ask directions and you will find it). They are across the street from Caesars.
The Flamingo has back massage girls walking the casino floor. It was $2 a minute last I was there, and fuck me sideways if it wasn’t worth every dollar for 40 minutes.
I was going to suggest a place next to The Flamingo for a great sit-in breakfast, but they apparently aren’t there anymore… Same for the breakfast at Binions that was excellent, but disappeared last I was there.
MGM has a lion cage. I don’t know when the lions are typically awake though.
Go to Battista’s Hole in the Wall for wonderful Italian food.
My brother made out with a woman at The Rock House in front of the Imperial Palace (which I called Imperial Plaza a few minutes ago…)
The Venetian has a large poker room with a lot of different types of poker being played. It is also a really beautiful hotel. There was a nice bakery open late too. I had a tasty doughnut there.
The Mirage has a volcano eruption every hour or so out front, but it’s not that impressive.
Across the street, just north of the Outback Steakhouse, there is a small casino with cheap craps tables.
All the downtown casinos (Freemont Street) have cheap table games.
Stay out of the Golden Gate hotel. I have heard bad things about the sanitary conditions there.
I’d love to visit, if it still exists, that hotel that has the Star Trek stuff in it.
A quick googling shows wikipedia referring to it in the past tense, so I guess that’s a no. 
Go to the Vegas Circus Circus. They have one of only 12 “F-Zero AX” cabinets in the entire United States.
get drunk and have a bad hangover, let’s see your drunken adventure unfolds afterwards
Take a lawn chair with you and conveniently position yourself along The Strip. Then spend the entire day feeling better about yourself because you’re not part of those sad little addicts.
i don’t think i’d be able to be in las vegas for longer than a few hours without becoming violently nauseous.
Going back to the New Vegas references for a bit, (kind of) you could actually spend some time exploring the real Mohave. Just be sure to bring plenty of water.
Fuck bitches, get money.
play out leaving las vegas
i won’t expect you to come back
sometimes i wish i was howard hughes