wait, that’s not normal?
Everything’s a disorder nowadays.
Winged: A little late to the party, but I say, if you like her, and she likes you, then go for it. Just make sure to keep good communication between the two of you, and if her jackass ex comes back, tell him to step off. He’ll either get the message, or give you legal grounds to beat his ass/have him arrested.
Of course, I have no real experience in these matters, but for once it seems to be quite a simple solution for such a complex problem, at least from the outside.
I’ve never met my girl’s ex (or any of them) but apparently he was a krav maga redditor numbnuts with pinstripes coming out his ass and a fedora you could shake several sticks at
She’s the one that keeps contact with him. She is hesitant to break ties with him because she still loves him. They’ve even fucked a couple times since the breakup.
Oh god, I’ve heard her talk to him on the phone, saying she wishes she never met him so that she can move on…that she wants him gone but can’t move forward. She chokes on her tears during this.
I hear him on the other line, totally unfazed, saying “Can you speed this up, I’m with some friends.” Couldn’t give less of a shit for her, but gives her just enough to retain her interest. He’s great at manipulating her.
That’s what it is, manipulation. The best thing an abusive person can use to keep the victims in their hands.
…What’s wrong with krav maga?
A female friend last night said that I should act like her ex; act like I don’t care and give zero emotional support. Another gave the exact opposite advice. Meep. I have bad feelings about this.
whatever you do, don’t affect her situation for the worse, that’s my advice
why do you want to make things worse for her ?
…I don’t? Where does it say I do?
Don’t act like the ex… having 0 emotional support or not caring is a terrible idea.
It’s a judgement call. Imo humanity and acting like a good man > winning someone over like that.
“Just be yourself.”
Worst advice I ever followed.
This. I’ve tried following it many times, it doesn’t seem to work for me.
what I meant is that don’t you ever listen to that girl who is “advising” you to act like you don’t care
@TGP that advice is half-terrible yet it’s still better than pretending to be something else cause sooner or later you will be discovered and it will be worse than to be rejected in the first place
confidence + being relaxed == being yourself
–> ticket to people you like liking you
That’s not the problem, the problem is either no common interests or no attraction.
We can start of talking for a while, but then both tend to realize that we don’t have much in common. I suck at small talk too, so that doesn’t really help much.
Then there’s those who I feel attracted to first, but then when they starts too talk the most stupid shit comes out of their mouth so I lose all interest. Either they’re really don’t know what they’re talking about or they pretend they know absolutely nothing because there’s a weird belief floating around which implies that guys like that. … I don’t at least.
I used to be more confidence than I am now, it have taken a blow from the last years endeavour, but it’s on it way back.
Remember the girl on the bus I talked about last year? It never went anywhere but that didn’t stop me from screwing up so bad so I felt anxiety and shame. When the school started again after the summer and I kept seeing her on the bus, I couldn’t stand it but it was my only way travel to and from school. I had actually never felt so attracted to any one ever before, so that may have played a part in all of it.
So i’d figured that I could possibly make it a little easier if I apologized, but during the whole year I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her, so it all at the end just turned in to it me seeming to stalk her, that was never a thing.
I knew how it looked all along, but I refused to listen to my own judgement and beat my conscience down deep into it’s shoes so I couldn’t see it.
It all ended last week before my graduation, when I had so much to apologize for that I wrote a letter and ended up driving to her house and dropping it off in her mailbox at midnight the day before my graduation.
I didn’t expect an reply, it was all an apology. However, I still got an answer. Through her cousin(or related in some other way), on facebook. It said that she had read my letter and accepted my apology and she would be happy if I leave her alone from now on.
I really brought that down on myself, didn’t I? I can’t start to describe how I feel about myself right now, but I’m on my way to rebuild my old self.
This is the truth. It’s also why people who have girlfriends/boyfriends often seem more attractive.
This conversation has prompted me to make a new thread, there will be a questionnaire. It should help you become more aware in regards to your own emotional needs, and also what your partner or love interest’s needs are. Just give me a couple seconds and I’ll have it set up.
EDIT: https://forums.blackmesasource.com/showthread.php?p=549323#post549323
There you go. Time to have a manly discussion about our feelings.
Didn’t read the rest of your post. There’s no problem there. You’re not supposed to build relationships with people that don’t interest you or that aren’t interested in you.