'Something may come through' dimensional 'doors' at LHC

[Mr.Shadow]

Something about creating a gateway to another dimension

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/11/06/lhc_dimensional_portals/

A top boffin at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) says that the titanic machine may possibly create or discover previously unimagined scientific phenomena, or “unknown unknowns” - for instance “an extra dimension”.

“Out of this door might come something, or we might send something through it,” said Sergio Bertolucci, who is Director for Research and Scientific Computing at CERN, briefing reporters including the Reg at CERN HQ earlier this week.

The LHC, built inside a 27-km circular subterranean tunnel deep beneath the Franco-Swiss border outside Geneva, functions like a sort of orbital motorway for extremely high-speed hadrons - typically either protons or lead ions.

The differences are, firstly, that the streams of particles are moving at velocities within a whisker of light speed - such that each stream has as much energy in it as a normal car going at 1000mph. Secondly, the beams are arranged in such fashion that the two streams swerve through one another occasionally, which naturally results in huge numbers of incredibly violent head-on collisions.

These collisions are sufficiently violent that they are expected to briefly create conditions similar to those obtaining countless aeons ago, not long after the Big Bang, when the entire universe was still inconceivably small - it was smaller than a proton for quite some time, seemingly, still with all the stuff that nowadays makes up all the supra-enormity of space and galaxies and so forth packed in somehow.

Naturally, some extremely strange phenomena are to be expected when one mangles the very fabric of space-time itself in this fashion. Various eccentric nutballs have claimed that this would doom humanity in one fashion or another; perhaps converting the entire Earth, everything on it and possibly the rest of the universe too into “strangelet soup”, monopole mulligatawny or some other sort of frightful sub-particulate blancmange or custard.

It has also been suggested that cack-handed boffins at the LHC might inadvertently call into being a miniature black hole and carelessly drop this into the centre of the Earth, rather irritatingly causing the planet to implode. It’s certainly to be hoped that the button marked “Call Black Hole Into Being” on the control board has some kind of flip-down cover over it.

Obviously all that’s utter rubbish. But some boffins have speculated that black holes might alternatively act as spacewarp wormhole portals into alternate universes, or something. This would seem to chime with Bertolucci’s remarks this week on hyperdimensional “doors” out of which might come unspecified “somethings”.

In before crowbar, Gordon and Seven Hour War.

[Ibanez]

People need to stop making bullshit up about the LHC. First it was going to outright 'splode the world, now it’s going to cause an interdimensional alien invasion. Really, people? :facepalm:

[Siggs]

^This.

[hercule_poirots_nuts]

it’s also being sabotaged from the future lol

[Bubonic]

Appartantly they could have it running as soon as this weekend, perhaps it will coincide with the release of BM (not necessarily in the weekend though).
Also. was going to post this last night, but too tired, and you beat me too the post this morning.

[Mr.Shadow]

@Ibanez

People need to stop making bullshit up about the LHC. First it was going to outright 'splode the world, now it’s going to cause an interdimensional alien invasion. Really, people? :facepalm:

Even if there where in fact aliens coming through it (although that’d be utterly absurd, and won’t happen) why’d we assume they want war with us? There has never before been done this kind of thing so those idiots just watched too much sci-fi movies.

[hercule_poirots_nuts]

cuz we like to assume aliens are pretty similar to us

[Bubonic]

Reddit already sent CERN a crowbar just in case.
https://blog.reddit.com/2008/09/crowbar-headcrab-and-half-life-strategy.html

[Ramirezoid]

what a bunch of weenies, they won’t even turn it on.

[sersoft]

I don’t think anything will happen. I think they won’t even discover a new type of particles. They will probably discover a whole bunch of broken particles flying everywhere and they will all get cancer.

[brokenfridgehinge]

^^
THIS. It would be the biggest joke in the history of mankind, and I shall laugh at their misfortunes.

[beeseik]

we need to ensure the tau cannon and gluon gun are properly placed within the facility, cuz you cant kill the nihilanth with a crowbar.

[Collision]

Yes you can.

[Zerego]

If there were to come aliens through (which isn’t happening), they’d probably suffocate or get owned by the gravity or temperature. Loads of other stuff that could happen, but not gonna type it all.

[Pyroclase]

It’s possible that the sheer incompatibility of the two dimensions will… I don’t know, really. I’m not that well-versed in quantum physics. Not that anything will actually happen.

[brokenfridgehinge]

Whats even stupider than these outlandish theories are the retards that commited suicide when the ‘‘black hole’’ theory was popular. I wonder what the next whacky theory will be, ''LHC may cause worldwide blackout in which everyone sees their future and it gets made into a terrible television series"

[etb513]

So all of the screenshots of BM are actually from LHC… that explains everything!

[danielsangeo]

I’m reminded of a metajoke regarding comic books and other similar type stories.

Man 1: “Hey, did you hear about that scientist that fell into that vat of toxic waste?”
Man 2: “No. What kind of super powers did he get? Can he shoot ice out of his fingers? Is he able to turn invisible? Fly? Able to watch Jon and Kate for more than 30 seconds without cringing?”
Man 1: “No. He got a brain tumor and died.”

[Winged_One]

The fuck is with this LHC phobia

[baconeggs]

December 200X.

Will this year be the one?