You have obviously never played Clue.
I’m pretty sure the guys below me in my dorm building bang the ceiling when I listen to music…doesn’t stop me.
Oh I have an uncle who lives there too.
- Meh neighbors in my area are quite nice. Most recent annoying thing I can think of is there is this Asian couple (WAY older man, younger but still old woman) living on the corner. About 2 months ago, there were 4 cop cars out the window of my house, an ambulance, and I paid attention to this. About 10 minutes later the older Asian chick came out of the neighbors house in cuffs. After that rushed over to the friend’s house to check if they were okay.
According to them, the older guy got some 20 year old chick in Vietnam pregnant (the older chick and him are married). She went apeshit on him because he wouldn’t show her a photo of the chick he got pregnant. Took a knife, a butcher block, and a dildo at him. Suffice to say, he was covered in blood… went to the hospital for stitches.
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Was about 14 at the time, looked at the corner while I was on my daily jog, some Hispanic people were trying to jack a pickup at the corner one time. Haven’t seen them since.
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Was at my girlfriend’s house one time, (visiting) some idiot had his drum set up WAY too loud, I could hear it inside one house over. I didn’t bitch about it, didn’t particularly care.
A couple of blocks over from my house, same street, we’ve got a house that resembles that of a rednecks. Backyard’s literally a forest. I can’t see past the fence.
Some of my neighbors are African Refugees, they keep to themselves.
The other ones complain about noise around 9pm on Friday nights.
Some other ones might be drug dealers as they own a BMW that costs more than their home (which they rent) and are only in their mid 20s.
Everyone seems to dislike each other and are constantly bickering about parking.
My neighbors get drunk every other day, the cops are there every month, and an ambulance is there every other month.
- Story you will never believe:
Sometimes I wake up because someone is throwing stuff at my balcony and window. Now, if I had a nice life it would be a hot chick throwing pebbles because she really needs it badly. But my life sucks and the next day I have to clean gummy bears and marshmellow chocolate off my windows. The reason: a YMCA youth hostel is across the street.
Candy is really the smallest problem, although: in the summer my balcony is open and my dog eats all the candy at night. He proceeds to gets obstication and then diarrhea which is bad because the balcony gets all covered in shit. Also every drunk bastard and every drunk bitch walking by the YMCA has to shout “YMCA”. So in the summer I wake up to a drunk choir standing before the YMCA and imitating the Village People for several minutes. Then there are the “young christian men” who sometimes perform group masturbation, BACK TO BACK, like they are fighting the demons of their teenage sexuality. The pissing and vomiting out of the windows also sucks. The thing is: they have curtains. But their teenage brains are too atrophied to know what a curtain does. And so they have sex on a chair in plain sight, undress, masturbate, play strip poker, dance naked, stand on the windowsill and scream: “I AM ALLIGATOR MAN”, rotating their pelvis so that their dick swing like a rotor. Sometimes these idiots spit down Beavis and Butthead style and hit some wannabe gangsters, who try to kick in the YMCA hostel door but fail and start to throw bottles into the windows of the hostel, failing again because gravity is a bitch. They hit one of their own and have to call an ambulance because their friend is bleeding all over the street. THEY ARE EVEN TOO YOUNG TO FLIRT WITH FOR FUCKS SAKE. I hate it …
Just picture them 5 years later flipping burgers at McDonalds.
A few years ago, in a shitty apartment complex in north Montreal, I was stealing wifi from my janitor who lived next door, he knew my mom was on minimum wage and would sometimes bring food (mostly frozen stuff for microwave) one day cops started knocking on my door, I hid my antenna assembly and opened the door, turns out the janitor was a convicted pedophile rapist and one of the neighbors (old lady in her 70’s) suspected him of doing it again (I was 14 at the time)
I told the cops to fuck off, but later told my mom it’s time to move again. In all my family moved at least 12 times within montreal before they bought this house.
You were stealing Wifi from a man who brought you frozen food? The fuck man? You’re lucky he turned out to be a pedo.
I caught my neighbor standing on a box in his back garden (beside ours) peering over the fence, wearing a dressing gown, masturbating while watching my wife putting on her makeup one night. God knows how many times he’d spied on her.
I have to admit, I was filled with rage, and I punched him in the head. He moved away not long after. I think his wife saw me screaming at him, then hitting him and worked out what was happening.
I feel bad for resorting to physical violence, but blind rage is just that.
Nobody ever found out about me stealing wifi, except the people I explicitly told I do it. People around here don’t know how to connect a computer to the internet without hiring someone to do it for them, let alone how to login to a router control panel and check the connected client list.
I lent my next-door neighbour my ladle over a week ago and she has not brought it back. I am worried sick that she will return it at some stage. what should I do to avoid such an upsetting incident?.. I have considered moving or shrinking my door but she is a bit of a fox and I would miss the many happy times I have spying on her. please help.
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Invite her over for a nice vichyssoise, or any other kind of soup. But serve the soup using an ordinary spoon. That way she will have a lot of time to consider why this is taking so long. Bonus: put sleeping pills into her soup. That way you can enter her apartement and steal your ladle back. Just take care she does not get hurt.
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Find pictures of ladles on the internet and get a beamer. Show her your ladle-picture collection, and after every second ladle or so say something like:
“This reminds me of the only ladle I ever had. It was my mother’s ladle”. -
Write a letter, ransom note style, demanding a standart ladle, put in a locker near the railroad station. Then tell her to order a soup in your favorite restaurant and to to put the key below the plate. Sit down at the table right next to her and take the key before the waitress comes. Tell her that if she won’t cooperate you will inform the authorities about what she and her family are doing.
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If all these steps won’t work: Hire a criminal who will knock at her door, and point a gun at her screaming: “GIVE ME YOUR LADLE, BITCH. GIVE IT TO ME, OR YOU DIE”
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Ultimate step. ULTIMA RATIO: Wait until she returns home and ask her whether she still needs your ladle, and that you would like it back. This is pretty stupid and sick though.
:fffuuu:
What kind of monster are you? Suggesting such a thing, it’s unthinkable!
Neighbours to the one side are noisy Chavlak bastards that see fit not to shut the alley gate on regular occurrence, never ever seem to use their front door, are about a bazillion people under one roof (ok, maybe 6), smoke like crazy and decide to have loud drinking sessions in their garden all through the night on the odd occasion, which while rare, is intensely fucking annoying when I’m trying to sleep.
Neighbours to the other side are a middle aged British couple and mostly keep to themselves and quiet. Though recently they’ve taken to improving god knows what in their house which results in rather sporadic loud tool usage, though never at unreasonable times of the day. Oh and the fella there saw fit to flog my dad’s (admittedly off the road and fucked) car just last month. :3
Piece of advice: if your russian neighbours drink and don’t let you sleep, grab a bottle and join them. You will either die, or feel like reborn the next day.
Polish, not Russian. Hence “Chavlak”, combination of “Chav” and “Polak”.
And I don’t really drink. Last bit of alcohol I had was back about 2 or 3 weeks after my 18th. Haven’t touched a drop since. I’m now twenty before anyone asks.
I called my neighbour a frog, she called the cops on me.
The only neighbors who have ever bothered me while living in this apartment house are those on the top-floor, just above me and my balcony. Through the years they have owned a large amount of pets, I’m talking 2 cats, 4 dogs, parrots and even rats. And at the same time, and I’m obviously not fucking kidding when I’m saying it was seriously like a fucking zoo up there. The dogs could stand and howl on their balcony all day long during certain times. They also have two kids, which is great, except the fact that they repeatedly drop toys, socks and other shit on my balcony.
But the thing that got me really annoyed was when it one day, when i was out on my fine balcony having a smoke in the glorious sunlight, trickled piss down from their balcony onto mine. Fucking dogpiss. I went into a rage, shouting out loud to whoever it was who had commited this disgusting crime. Didn’t get any answers tho, and I still haven’t figured out whether it was dogpiss or if it actually was the kids who did it.
It’s pretty calm here nowadays, compared to before. They only have two dogs now, heard they killed the rest.