I’ve never had problems with my neighbors expect once, cause I was playing on Drums and they wanted to call the cops because of the devastating noise xP
The neighbor across from me lives some kind of secret life.
He bought his family online and is almost never home. When he is, all he does is work on his car out front for about a day, and then he leaves for months again.
I walked up to him once and asked if he was a secret agent or something and he got really uncomfortable looking, so then I just asked if he was a drug runner, and he walked back inside. I haven’t seen him since.
The old people next to him are generally pretty nice, but when I suggested that they should move their large, expensive HDTV away from their window before someone crazy thinks about stealing it, they told me to mind my own business and stopped talking to me.
Across from them are my direct neighbors, and they are really nice people. I’ve been in their house before, and don’t know why it’s so much nicer than mine. I also don’t know why their son screams so much.
St-Hubert?
Bleh architecture. This is the city where I live:
Nice, but he has a russian sauna.
AND he smokes weed.
In the russian sauna. :jizz:
I’m at the corner of the street, so I only have one neighboring house. Originally, it was a really nice, REALLY old couple. They had a beautiful garden, and they used to bring us the stuff that they grew there. Then, they went and died within a month of each other.
My neighbor is now an iguana.
the people downstairs have a crazy loud combined prayer group and uno tornament a few times a week. they are old and seem insane but harmless and at least i never hear then fuck. also they sit in their living room in the dark all day wwatching people come and go cuz their flat faces the only exit ofthe building
OK, here is one of the 100 stories you will not believe:
- Two years ago, during carnival, the 40 year old couple next door decided they would not tolerate me and my incessant parking in the driveway any longer. My street being a one way street in the middle of a one-million-car city, parking-spaces are rare and I left my car in the driveway frequently, to not have to look for a parking space for 15 minutes, just to grab a bite or get dressed into something more comfortable. Once some mechanics could not get through with their van into the yard, but they did not care, because they got paid for waiting that way; the other 500 times my car never bothered anyone. Still the couple did not like me very much because I was constantly undermining their “authority”, as they called it, for they were the janitors, self proclaimed kings of the house. I found that very amusing, for all they tried to do with their “authority” was to harrass others and humiliate my poor greek single-mother neighbor who’s husband died of cancer, probably because they knew they would never in their poor lives wield power over anything else, including their own behavior and desires.
Also that day I was getting ready for a carnival party and was nearly dressed. I wore my father’s “officer of the soviet military reserve” uniform, complete, with belt, hat, holster and boots (without the Makarov pistol of course. I do not possess firearms). I could hear her bickering all day through the wall, which made me already assume they were once again furious about my car standing on public space they felt responsible for. I felt pity for the man. Then someone banged on the door. Needless to say I felt a bit weird both because I was wearing a uniform, and because I hated conflict of this kind, but hey, it was carnival. So I opened the door, and saw my neighbor, his name was Emre, staring down at me furiously. He told me with a trembling voice that if I did not remove my car, he would call a towing service. I told him that I would be gone in about 5-10 minutes. Both of us were kind of taken aback. I had noticed his breath that smelled like my ass after a peperoni-vodka contest and his red eyes. He had noticed my uniform (soviet stars everywhere) and he did not like it probably because he was Hungarian originally and escaped the Communists in the 80s. Maybe Communists raped his father and smoked his mother, I do not know, maybe he just thought being a janitor in central Europe was more lucrative (which it wasn’t, because being a janitor generally isn’t). I asked him not to call the towing service, because he would have to pay for it himself, once the truck was here, for I was about to leave for a carnival party anyway. He got even more mad and wanted to say something, but could not find anything to say. He starting ranting: “IS THIS A PARTY UNIFROM. ARE YOU A DAMN COMMUNIST”? (This was a pretty hilarious thing to say, since the German Communist Party had been abolished 1956. He probably had meant another communist party). I said: “I am a social democrat. And this is my fathers military uniform.” The thing is he knew my father was from Russia and my mother from the Slovak Republic. This was the worst possible combination for a drunk Hungarian. “Russian pig” is what he called me. Being a loud mouth I told him that if it were not for the 100 000 “Russian Pigs” who died near Budapest, Szalasi and his fascist friends would have killed tens of millions all across Eurasia. Being my usually idiotic self I proceeded to tell him that I was indeed a Communist and that the Soviets should have left Romania to occupy Hungary after the war, like in 1919 (Nobody tell me studying history is of no use). Unfortunate for both of us was that his wife opened the door at that moment and started screaming: “Just kick his sorry ass and drag him down to his car you incompetent idiot”. Ok, I did not understand what she had said, because I do not speak Hungarian, but that’s what I assume, since my dear 1,85 m (6 ish) 80 kg (180 pound) neighbor punched me in the face, and started pulling my 1,72m (5,8 ish), 74 kg (160 pound ass) towards the stairs. Being a loud mouth, I know how a punch feels. This one felt too sharp, like he had used knuckles. Luckily the soviet uniform was not the only thing my father had left me. My neighbor had pulled me out of my door, half-way to the stairs, grabbing my inherited military shirt by the collar with one hand, walking next to me, when I hit his nose with my right palm and kept pushing until he released me. Afraid of being punched again I did something incredibly stupid: I hit him with my left elbow as hard in his stomach, I saw there were stairs behind him, but it did not matter to me. He fell down about 10 stairs. He was lying there and he was not moving. I did not know what to do and just stood there looking. Then I remember his wife yelling something. She wanted me to move so she could get through to him. Then I noticed my shirt was full with blood, and also my chin. The whole floor was full of it.
I sat down at the stairs feeling dizzy. Meanwhile my the Greek mother and her son, a bouncer, came up. He saw the Hungarian couple but knowing both me and them came up to me to ask me if I was alright. He hated the Hungarians SO much, he did not even ask how it had happened but simply asked me to tell him everything before the police arrived, while applying pressure to my chin. Meanwhile his mother had called the police. I tried to tell him, but I was in shock pretty much. When the police arrived they first thought we had beaten the janitor up and tried to arrest us. The Greek told them that he himslef was uninvolved but that I had a bleeding wound. Luckily the third cop immediately started to administer first aid and noticed the Hungarian’s breath. That was very good, because that meant he was both alive and because the blood test they performed later showed he had 1.5 promille (something like 0.15). The medics stitched me up. Meanwhile my Greek friend started inquiring why my chin was bleeding. The cops looked through the pockets of the janitor, and found his keys which had blood all over them, as he appareantly lodged them between his fingers before punching. He had suffered a concussion, a giant cut, that had to be closed with 10 stitches and several bruises. Still the cops had to take me to the precinct in my bloody uniform, where I was the center of attention, because nobody was quiet sure what branch of the forces I belonged to, and laughed after hearing what had happened. Then being still in shock, I walked home for 30 minute in a soviet uniform, the shirt full of blood, instead of calling my friends. I don’t even remember how I got home.
The district attorney had to start a case against me, but in the light of how much Emre had drunk, in light of the blood-covered keys and the fact I was both smaller and lighter than him, they admitted I was acting in self defense and cleared me of all charges, although they said that if I had had a criminal record, especially assault, I’d be in trouble for attempted murder, by pushing someone down the stairs. Neither him or me were interested in suing and we avoided each other pretty much after that.
Half a year ago he knocked on my door while I was having lunch at home, because he had chest pains and could not see properly. He looked worse than when I had nearly killed him and gasped and asked me to drive him to the hospital. His wife was at work. Luckily my car was parked in the driveway. I drove as hard as my 1.6 Skoda Octavia goes, but he was unconscious when we arrived at the hospital. The medics took him away, and asked me to wait, thinking I was his son. They had revived him after he had suffered an alcohol induced cardiomyopathy, but the liver appareantly hat taken too much and stopped working properly. I did not know how to contact his wife and sat all day on the same stairs we punched each other. When she arrived several hours later she immediately understood and I drove her to the hospital. His heart had stopped about three times, and the doctors were unable to revive him the third time.
I drove his wife, Suzanna, home; she was crying and avoided looking at me. I did pretty much the same. © BrAndi
tl;dr
Also my neighbours are nosey fucks. We’re having our kitchen done, I just got home from work, parked the car, they drove past as slowly as fucking possible past our house and had a look to see if they could figure out what was going on, a minute later they drove back going as slowly as possible again. That and they built a conservatory right against our fence and it looks like a public toilet…so we’re building an even bigger conservatory right against theirs 
Lol, building contests, you British People…! Had to look up what conservatory means in British English. Because in almost every other language I know it is an academy that teaches music.
Our conservatory is actually going to be a decent size though and worth having. Theirs can fit 2 chairs and a table in it just about. What the hell is the point of spending that much money so you have a few more metres to put a chair and a table in a room that looks like a public toilet?
Make sure you can put a hammock in the conservatory.
Nothing better than a hammock.
I tried putting a hammock in my bedroom…I think you need more than a metre of space to have a hammock though
The neighbors over the road live in this massive bird cage and now its springtime they are all putting on their mating displays and the noise is fucking terrible. but all year its a hassle, feathers everywhere, sharp ass bits of egg shell fuck a bikes tyres right up and dont get me started about the shit goddamn.
Your parents can afford a conservatory but you have not one metre of space in your room? O_o
You can’t see very well on streetview but there’s a hammock next to the sauna, it’s hanging on 2 trees that are 3 meters apart.
Worse, Pierrefonds.
I tried reading that, I really did. I even got through 1st paragraph.
My neighbors are all pretty nice, except that one old lady living alone in a goddamn mansion a couple of houses down the street.
tl:dr:
his neighbors are an angry woman and her drunk husband with some kind of soviet background
brandy parks his car in the driveway for 10 minutes
angry woman orders drunk husband to tell brandy to get the car out
drunk husband sees that brandy is wearing a soviet uniform (for a carnival)
they get into a fist fight, brandy uses elbow, it’s super effective
drunk man falls down stairs, cops show up, brandy goes on trial, all charges are dropped,
about a year later drunk man dies of liver failure due to alcoholism.
Bitch who lives below us always used to bang on the ceiling or come knock on the door when we’d be having a conversation or watching a movie (on tiny speakers at low volume) at like 5pm. She finally complained to the property manager and he actually told her to knock it off and stop bothering us. Haven’t heard from her since. Guess that plan backfired.
I don’t know any of my other neighbors.
thanks.
lol