Superman exploded, but the moon fell from the sky because some idiot did a mediocre job of nailing it to SPAAAAACE, so everything blew up. But then Gordon Freemans started rising out of the ground, and the only one who could stop them was a zombie with a gravity gun. Then the USS Enterprise came and blew up the other moon that was invisible but it didn’t feel like being invisible anymore. But then a Star Destroyer ate the Enterprise, but then Spacedock ate the Star Destroyer. Painis Cupcake woke up and ate all the Gordon Freemans and the gravity gun zombie moved to Chicago, Florida, in India, at the North Pole. Seeman and Dic Soupcan had an epic battle, but then the moon rolled over them. Wheatley and the SPAAAAAACE Core fell to Earth, and then were set on fire by a combustible lemon launcher wielded by the Pyro. The Black Mesa Transit System ate the rest of the Black Mesa Research Facility, and then got twisted around and became an amusement park ride. But then there was SPY, so Rene Descartes summoned a racist elephant that was pink and black in a checkerboard pattern because Valve hadn’t made the texture for it yet. So SCP-173 ate himself and Albert Einstein got arrested for running over a soda can. Santa Claus wanted revenge for having a zambie living near his workshop and sent his sniper elves to kill Heavy Weapons Guy, but the Scout needed a teleporter and Waluigi became an epic Wizard of Light. Then God came down and promised peace, but was upstaged by Chuck Norris, who promised pie. EA decided to give all of their stuff away for free, so Ash Ketchum got Madden which is actually made by Blizzard but you didn’t hear it from me. Sega died. Then Calvin and Hobbes proved string theory and made MW3 awesome, and Painis Cupcake ate EA. The end.
IRL Note: I met Morgan Freeman on a Gmod server today. I’m not kidding.