My typical outlandish comparison, which would be perfectly valid in terms of religion, can be explained with hemogoblins. No, that’s not a typo. I’ll explain.
Hemogoblins are tiny undetectable goblins that live in the bodies of all living things. There is a faction of hemogoblin that lives around your heart. The evil hemogoblins live in your heart and the good hemogoblins live outside your heart. Each time your heart beats, it represents the battle between good and evil. Consume too much cholesterol or other bad things and you help the evil hemogoblins. If the forces of evil overcome the forces of good, you go into cardiac arrest. The moral of this is to eat good and help the good hemogoblins repel (but never kill) the evil hemogoblins.
My proof that they exist? People go into cardiac arrest all the time due to poor eating habits. Therefore, they must exist. Scientists and other hemogoblin deniers refuse to even entertain this alternative theory and the secular-progressive schools will not teach this alternative theory, reflecting an anti-hemogoblin agenda and being against good eating habits because they hate the good hemogoblins.
Now, standing back from this story, it’s obviously ludicrous and the claims made against schools, scientists, and people that don’t ascribe to this is obviously insane. Yet, when you turn hemogoblins into religious figures, it becomes sane, somehow.
I am agnostic about the hemogoblins because I don’t know if they exist. I know the scientific reasons behind cardiac arrests, cholesterol, blood and such, but there’s no evidence that these undetectable goblins don’t exist and that their effects don’t result in exactly what we’re seeing.
I also don’t believe they exist, however, because there’s no evidence that they DO exist. That makes me an atheist.