Wrote some poetry

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#1

My Love[/SIZE]

My love
My flower
My angel of angels
We shall always be together
For I love you so

I saw you today
Though perhaps you did not see me
You wore a black fur coat
Nine inch heels
Dark lipstick
White powder
Purple streaks flowing through a black stream of hair

You walked from your house to your car
Such a cute walk
So dainty
So innocent
So absolutely angelic

I watched from the bushes
As I always do
Waiting
Biding my time
For that perfect time
When all is set
And I may be revealed

I am always with you
I have memorized your routine
Your visage
Your scent
Your voice
And I am unable to go a single day without basking in your glory
For than I would cease to exist

Your gaze once fell upon me
As I was stooped behind a dumpster
Wrapped in a trench coat
Enveloping myself in pleasure as I spied your image
Your eyes widened in fear
Such an adorable emotion
So very pure
So very authentic
So very real
Your mouth, such a holy orifice, opened in terror

You look so much prettier
If possible
With a look of horror upon your face

I have not left you since then
I am still with you
Always and forever
And one day, you shall know it
You shall know that undeniable truth
That we are meant to be together

Forever.

And ever.

Always.

When that day comes, my knife will pierce your skin
You shall emulate your glorious face of terror as you bleed
Bound, and unable to escape
In my arms
As your glorious heart pumps your warm blood through the hole in your chest
As I nibble your tongue
As I nuzzle the tissue beneath your breast against my skin
As I wrap myself in your entrails
As I scoop the blood from your body and rub it upon my less-than-worthy face
As your life begins to drain away and you are on the brink of death
I shall chop a finger away
Place it in my pocket

And as you slip away
I shall whisper in your ear the very last thing you shall hear

My love
My flower
My angel of angels
We shall always be together
For I love you so

#2

:what:

#3

You wrote a god damn ballad

god dammit

#4

No, I don’t believe I did.

#5

Haha

#6

Stay away from me.

#7

Nice, I like the change in tone as you read through. Well written

I’m sure you’re a lovely person though :stuck_out_tongue:

#8

BRB, Checking behind my Dumpster…

#9

Thats pretty scary dude… :expressionless:

#10

[align=center]It was a sunny winter day,
But the air had quite a chill.
Near the wrecked city bay,
There was a little hill.

And in the hill there was a dot,
That liked to sleep and eat -
But lately he could not
For there was no more meat.

And how a dot will cook his meals,
When there’s no more meat around?
He had to eat banana peels,
While sitting on the ground.

“I want a couch” he cried,
And took his coat and stick,
“Today I leave the river-side,
And visit mister Slick!”[/align]
This one is not complete, wrote it on 9th grade. For fun.
I think the main reason your poem was strange is because it didn’t rhyme. I know poems don’t have to rhyme, but it makes them nicer…

#11

TL;CBATD

#12

lol wat

are you 6?

#13

I’m 20 years old and what is this?

That was a rather… disturbing poem…

#14

Could be

#15

it´s funny, but it doesn´t have so much…deeper meaning(no offense). It´s okay for written just for fun but if you want to write good poems you need to search for themes that really interest or move you, that you are somehow linked to.(because lyric is about emotion, at least so i think)
also i expierienced that sometimes rhymes make lyric dull. For example if you choose your rhymes too obvious like four and more, anyone could come up with that :slight_smile: . try to vary.

@ first post: i like how it´s build up. it went from basicly innocent(like ohhh, cute love poem) to slaughter action. This sneaky feeling of there being something wrong becoming more intense and ending as …(can´t think of a fitting word)…maybe dread.

all in all, rather disturbing seems to be quite fitting. but that doesn´t mean i dislike it. i don´t really know what to think of it. i think you maybe intended exactly this?

#16

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Poetry SUCKS!
…
…
…
The End

Thats all… move on… :fffuuu:

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