not as much as me
i’m a loser and an idiot
i am so sick of myself
pfffffffffffffffffffffffff
Yesterday I thought I had 0$.
Today I realized I was more broke than I previously thought.
fuck
Went to a swimming pond thingy for dogs the other day. There was this girl there with 2 puppies. She was rather cute and friendly, had a little chat with her about the dogs and all.
Anyways, I had my camera with me and was taking pictures of the dogs there (was mainly there to get subjects that refuse to stand still, but that’s not important). I wanted to propose her to give me her email address to send her the photos, but I was afraid to do so.
Now I regret not asking her, and going to that park every week from now on seems to be a very very sad thing to do.
Shit.
All I can say is: try not to worry about it, it’s over and you can’t change it. Just remember your regrets when you’re in a similar situation, and you’ll be fine 
well i don’t really have regrets, just an inability to be myself/let myself out/let others in
I’m gettin’ real sick of the NSF. First my position was secure. Then it was going to be terminated if the NSF funding didn’t come through. Then I was guaranteed a position for at least six more months. Now the funding is only secured through the end of December, which is not six more months.
Time to get out of the academic sector, I think. Not knowing whether I can sign a year-long lease when my current lease is ending at the end of the month is starting to give me ulcers.
i tried to take too many steps at once
now i’ve fallen over again, and i dont have the energy to get up
pffffff
What happened again? I don’t think I ever saw your original post where you got injured (at least, I didn’t see it when my reading comprehension was anywhere near competent).
my injuries are all psychological
i’m trying to turn my life around, but it seems at every step i’m failing and disappointing someone, most of all myself
Must have been someone on another forum that was physically injured and can’t walk without rehabilitation.
Dude, the worse you feel, the less you’re going to feel like doing. Talk to some close friends you have and vent, it’s better if you can meet face-to-face. It’ll help you feel a lot better once you talk things over with someone you trust.
Once you do that, just pick yourself up and do something you enjoy, that’s about all I can say. Depression’s a bitch to deal with, just take your time and work through it, you’ve got people who care about you, reach out and talk to some.
It’s not that simple. I’ve started going to therapy, I do talk to people. I try hard every day. It’s all very tiring and frustrating, but there’s no easy fix.
It’s also hard doing something you enjoy when you don’t enjoy anything.
just be a boss
there is no such thing as too many steps at once
it’s just that you lost focus somewhere along the way
Not saying you aren’t trying hard enough. Trust me, I’ve gone through what you’re going through. Mind you it was with the lack of a therapist to help me. I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years about a year ago. I haven’t dated anyone since because I tend to avoid people and keep to myself (I rarely leave the house unless it’s necessary). Couple that with how picky I am with the people I hang around… you get the idea (Read some of my previous posts and read in-between the lines… you’ll see I have a significant ego complex).
That aside, it took me about 2 months to recover and get back into a normal routine. It’s a long, tedious process, but it is doable. I’d suggest working out, but you don’t feel up to it, which is understandable in your case.
Not much more I can say, I hope you feel better, and you pull through. I ended up telling myself there was no point in dwelling on the past and just put it out of mind and continued with my life. It still comes back into my mind at some points due to stupid little shit that I see in my social life from time to time (E.G. someone getting engaged to their significant other or the like). It’s not as bad as it was, but it’s still there.
TL;DR: Just stick with it and you’ll feel better at some point. I hope you feel better.
You are making me want to come over and share a beer with you. Except you live across an ocean and I don’t drink…
You’re not the only one. I’ve been having similar thoughts and I would totally be able to do it if I had a job. A little low on cash.
We should totally have some kind of fund for this. “Transcontinental Black Mesa Bros and Bro-ettes Transportation and Lodging Fund.”
yeaaaah, let’s do it! Maybe Bobbejaanland is better 
thanks for the support guys, it’s what i love about this forum
I’ve been going at it for well over a year now though. As far as my latest depressive period is concerned anyway.
Looking back, it really started about 5 years ago, I guess.
Strictly speaking, it all started 20 years ago, which is when I stopped thinking about myself and started putting all my energy into trying to make/keep my dad happy, somehow. And I never did get much support or attention or encouragement back.
And yeah, my ex was too much like my dad. After our last attempt to make it work, I basically broke down until the 3-year-old version of me that needs to hide behind his mom’s skirts because he’s too scared to face people was all that was left.
The most frustrating aspect about all this, is that I understand most of it. I know basically what I should do to have a good life, I know roughly what I want, and so on. Yet still I can’t get out of my head. I still can’t just live, be present in the moment. Everything I see or hear or whatever goes through a filter. It’s like I’ve permanently got a ping of over 200ms, I’m always running behind, I’m always calculating what I should or shouldn’t do. The result is usually that I don’t know what to say or do at all, and I just want to disappear.
right, enough complaining 