Hey, um, I don’t mean to seem pushy; the mod works either way, but if you’re going to try to get the security guard’s dialogue rerecorded, do you think you could avoid the vent thing? It still feels like an awkward remnant of the bad design decisions in the released version of BM to me. If you wanted to keep the same shock at the beginning of the Garg encounter, how about making the parking garage multi-level and having a section of the floor collapse?
Your solution sounds even more awkward than the vent.
You also didn’t explain why the vent itself was a bad design decision.
Just because they cut the chapter Surface Tension using a vent as the bridge between the cut areas, doesn’t make the vent itself a bad design decision. In fact, I LOVE the vent, that’s why I kept it. I think it’s a GREAT design decision. Dropping down into a situation with an LAV right in front of you is a great “OH SHIT!” moment. Then having the Garg burst out, fuck shit up, and come at you is an even bigger “OH SHIT!” moment. You wouldn’t really get that through any other means. Vents have been used throughout the entirety of Black Mesa, why is this one so much worse?
Gonna make slight adjustments to your lines Text as they work fine. Don’t use any of that jarhead crap as it’s out of place. Green=changes.
Encounter in the Security Center
[Starts off peering over the top of cover, instantly recognizes it’s Freeman, he knows he’s coming]
[Stands up]
[Mixture of surprise and relief] I’ll be damned. Gordon Freeman. You actually made it through that hellhole! [Gets a little frantic, looking at his screens, sees a fight between HECU and Aliens] [COLOR=‘lime’]Shit’s really hitting the fan now…the military’s getting hammered [COLOR=‘lime’]everywhere! If I didn’t know better, I’d almost feel sorry for them. [COLOR=‘lime’](more realistic expression, slightly more concise)
[Sighs]
I’ve been watching you on the security monitors [gestures at the array of security monitors behind him, which show various parts of the previous maps, as well as live footage from C2A5H] since you got to the parking lot.
When these military assholes started poking around, me and [sounds a bit mournful] some buddies of mine activated[COLOR=‘lime’] a security lockdown, hoping to block off all access to the Lambda bunker. When we realized you might actually make it here, we tried to hold this position…[mournful again] not entirely successfully [glances over to his fallen comrade in the corner].
I can let you through, now [COLOR=‘lime’]that I know it’s clear. It’s a short walk down the main access tunnel and then just follow the road. If our plan worked, the lockdown will have kept both the freaks and the assholes out. There [COLOR=‘lime’]shouldn’t be anything too big and nasty along the way. [COLOR=‘lime’](removes double negative, adds a qualifier to remove the certainty, creates irony)
[Types in a keycode but gets a stubborn denial bleep from the console]
[COLOR=‘lime’]Aww, damnit [heavy emphasis, sounds quite pissed off]. This thing’s fried. All I’ve been able to do is unlock the console in the guard house by the tunnel. We’ll have to open the gate from there. [COLOR=‘lime’](removed “our last fight got real damn messy”…phrasing is off and does nothing to explain the messed up console)
I’ll help you out, but I’ll only stick around 'till I’m sure you can carry on safely. Then I’ll come back here and lock everything behind you so you won’t be followed.
By the Guard House (If Barney survives this long)
[After mowing down all the aliens by the 50cal]
[Sounds a bit cheerful]
Now we’ve dealt with those freaks, [COLOR=‘lime’]why don’t we get that door, Doc? [COLOR=‘lime’](when Barney uses the console, the door should be unlockable by BOTH he and the player, hence the edit and the deletion of the other line)
When you have to abandon Barney by climbing into the vent
This is as far as I go, buddy. I’ll double back [gestures behind him] and lock everything up again once you’re on the home free. Good luck out there, ya hear me? Bring me back a 6 pack when this is all over!
Final script (hopefully)
Justifications:
I see you changed everything to be grammatically and syntactically correct. The areas where I used double negatives and slightly incorrect grammar is because that’s how the guards generally speak in Black Mesa, and this one’s meant to be particularly chummy.
“Our fight got real damn messy” explains the damage, hence why the console’s fried. It makes sense, though I’ve phrased it better now.
As for the door, I always intended it even on the first script that Barney would go and open the door for you if he’s still about, but the player could do it as well. I have already said that.
Unless anyone has any major objections, I’ll try and use the script I just wrote above.
Haven’t really read everything, but that little piece of dialogue really shouldn’t last any longer than a minute.
While that is an extraordinarily arbitrary standard with no justification whatsoever, I went ahead and measured the conversations, fairly roughly:
Current Choreographed Scene: 34 seconds
Proposed Choreographed Scene: 1 Minute 5 Seconds
Give or take 15 seconds on the proposed scene for delivery, I delivered some parts slow and some parts fast so I’ve probably judged it in a fairly balanced manner.
if it fits time doesn’t mater. looks like it would be a good dialogue… but only way to tell would be to hear it in game.
This version of the script looks perfect, go with this one. Not sure if your comment about Barney opening the door was directed at my discussion of the doors being unlocked in the security office or not. Just to confirm I am talking about the place where you first come across Barney with all the trip mines and the blue doors in that room, I thought it was the case that the blue door remains locked until Barney physically walks over to it, but I could be mistaken.
Right oh, cheers for the clarification Wangman 
Final major change:
Grr, damnit [heavy emphasis, sounds quite pissed off]. Our last fight got real damn messy; this thing’s fried. All I’ve been able to do is unlock the console in the guard house by the tunnel. We’ll have to open the gate from there.
[COLOR=‘lime’]Grr, damnit [heavy emphasis, sounds quite pissed off]. Our last fight was a real mess; this thing’s fried. All I’ve been able to do is unlock the guard house console. We’ll have to open the tunnel gate from there. (too many damns, removed the awkwardness of “real damn messy,” made last 2 sentences more concise w/o compromising content)
Other than this, I’m content w/using you final draft as the actual final. Here’s 2 minor issues to consider
-
Shit’s seriously hitting the fan now…
Consider changing to “Shit’s [COLOR=‘lime’]really” as it sounds a little better w/o the alliteration, which also makes the line more difficult to say. -
me and [sounds a bit mournful] some buddies of mine activated the security lockdown, hoping to block off all access to the Lambda bunker.
Consider changing to “[COLOR=‘lime’]a security lockdown, hoping to block off access”
“The” implies only one lockdown protocol and a facility like BM would likely have many different lockdown protocols for different circumstances so “a” is better. Deleting “all” removes the alliteration associated w/this change. -
There ya go.
This is fine as long as you can prevent Barney from doing a stupid door open animation if the player has already opened it.
When you contact the VA, make sure you link him to the mod download as well as you most recent ST Youtube video. Good luck!
One little thing. If you’re going with “security lockdown” now, remember you still have a sign outside the door that reads “secure lockdown”.
-The discussion was in relation to Barney opening the HUT…Text is finally gonna listen to me about keeping it locked lol.
One little thing. If you’re going with “security lockdown” now, remember you still have a sign outside the door that reads “secure lockdown”.
-A non-issue. Signs don’t have any bearing w/regards to a person’s speech. After all, do you talk like you write?
wangman think you are trying to over correct something that is good as it is.
Hey guys, after a little break I’m back-
Heh, I wanted to wait out the release of the finished version of these maps, but this thread gives me a daily itch now
Plus I’d also like to help with my own notifications and suggestions, and for that I need to see the current progress, obviously.
@Wangman/Everyone
Justifications:
-
I was originally going to have Barney say “real bloody messy,” as that’s what I would have said in that situation. I then realized how disgustingly British that sounded and changed it to damn. Indeed.
-
As for your “seriously,” “really,” substitution it doesn’t make much of a difference in my mind. It takes me the same amount of time roughly to say both things, and I find the word seriously has a bit more of an impact, and sounds a bit less awkward to me when you place an emphasis on it compared to really (though that may just be my accent, I dunno). The “S” sound just works better for emphasis I think. I’m okay with either, but “seriously” sits better with me.
-
“A secure lockdown” vs “the secure lockdown”. I don’t know, again. Saying “a secure lockdown” sounds really vague and raises as many questions as the. A secure lockdown? How many do they need? Why did he choose that one and not any other of the number they have? I think “the” secure lockdown doesn’t have to imply that the whole facility is locked down - it seems unlikely that that security station presides over the whole facility - just the general area. I’m okay with either, but I guess I just prefer “the”. More definitive.
'Fraid you’ve misunderstood me here. I’m not locking the hut. I’m designing it like how C2A5D was designed. The hut is open, and there is a locked console (red button) inside. When Barney hits the master switch in the security station, the green traffic light comes on and the console turns green. Pressing the button on this console allows you to open the doors. This is how it was in C2A5D so it’s consistent and makes sense from a gameplay and realism perspective. Having the hut locked really doesn’t make much of a difference - there are windows anyway so the player could just climb in.
If you give it a few days - a week at the most the new version will be rolled out, which will be VERY close to finished I reckon.
EDIT: I was wondering if anyone knew where I could contact Kevin Sisk, the voice actor for Barney, and if they have an e-mail or something, could they Private Message it to me? I’ve been hunting round the net and I can’t find any general e-mail he uses, and it seems a bit…weird to contact him via any other means!
ahahha! I just can’t stop laughing!
I googled Kevin Sisk and I’ve found this video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTsZWWK8iy8
The most interesting thing about it is the description, it should give you some more idea or useful tip.
I’ll send you a PM, if I’ll find his mail.
I couldn’t find Kevin here in the forums (I don’t remember if he has a different account name here), but you can try PM CornetTheory, the scientist’s VA.
Maybe he can help you find him.
Thanks. I appreciate the help.
Cheers Conti. I’ll send him a message as I have to start somewhere. I was also toying with the idea of applying to become a dev, though I haven’t a clue where to start and having combed the wiki for any kind of information I haven’t found any. Do I just contact the team leader through whatever means I can find, or is there some kind of formal process? Would they even consider me? Do you know where to get me started? I’d really appreciate the help!
Ach. Cheers. I knew it was bound to be somewhere obvious I hadn’t looked, but, I assure you, I’d looked!
I tried to spot him in Facebook but I had no luck.
I’m not good with it(actually I despise it!).
If someone here knows how to use he can try it
Edit:
If you’ll be part of the dev team, it will imply these 2 things:
1- Your work will be officially released on the Steam update(Cheers! )
2- No more Community Updates and Beta Release (Sigh! 
)
I really hope you’ll become one of them, you and your maps deserve it!