problem with ladies.

#1

This could not be the best place to ask help, but I would like to the very people on this forum help me handle with this problem.

Yes, that’s exactely what the title says:

My problem is that I never could start a serious relationship with someone because the only two times I almost started one, the price to pay was betraying a real close friend - the second case, the damn girl played with us both like a puppeter. I have problems dealing with it, and here, I am asking for help, because looks like I can’t solve this alone.

#2

what exactly is the problem? o.O

if you’re not currently interested in anyone there really isn’t anything to do except trying to meet more ladies

#3

^That sounds about right. There’s no need for you to be in a relationship if you aren’t interested in anyone. Don’t force it.

#4

uhh dont be in a relationship if you dont want to or dont like anyone?
are you retarded or

#5

the problem is:
I am unable to start a relationship because of past problems, and I don’t fucking know how to deal with this to move on.

#6

quit being a pussy?

#7
#8

Ha, it’s funny to punch someone who has a problem that, as I can see, you don’t have. The interesting part in all of this is that, if I give you the answer on the level you are begging to receive, I am going to be flamed to death here.

And, really, every time nowadays I try on a girl, I remember these memories and
nothing works.

#9

Either you want it, or you don’t.
Quit being such a faggot over your past mistakes, learn from them.

#10

… so basically youre telling me you need to quit being a pussy.
nobody will want to be with you anyway if youre such a blubbering vagina about it

#11

My intuition says you’re using these mistakes as an excuse for not trying to (or being able to,) gather up the confidence to actually approach someone. On a deeper level, you want someone to tell you what you want to hear when you actually know the answer already.

#12

Be as attractive as you can to the kind of people you want to attract. If you know how to operate these people, maintaining any kind of relationship should be relatively easy.

I recommend attracting people over approaching them, mainly because I don’t know if you’re a creep at society or not. It’s way easier when someone wants to stick it to you, because then all you have to do is give it up.

It’s better just to have a select few friends that are into fucking, IMO. Pull the mass effect shit if you really want something other than cool sex.

#13

Sounds about right. To reword the above, it seems like you have doubts about yourself (low self-esteem) and using past events to hide it from yourself.

My last relationship was god-awful for the most part, but when I finally got over it, I started realizing certain things about myself and learned from them. Things like abandonment issues and an inferiority complex to a certain degree, which was partly why my last relationship was so bad. That stuff never goes away entirely, but when you realize just how much influence it has over your actions, you can start to deal with it and reduce their influence, eventually almost entirely.
Now I have a great girl, mostly because I learned from past mistakes and built up my confidence to a point where I actually felt 100% good about who I am.

So yeah, learn from mistakes, don’t hide behind them. Try to find out what’s causing you to hold yourself back. I am fairly certain it’s personal issues you have with yourself. Once you realize what they are it should be easier to deal with them.

#14

try being friends with girls before you try being in a relationship with them

#15

Your opening post is kind vague, so I’m just gonna say 1. Pretty much the only way I’ve found to get over heartache is time and just avoiding things that remind you of the girl (if you are stuck in a class with her or something this’ll be much harder) and 2. Don’t try and force a relationship too fast (I know a guy who uses pickup lines; doesn’t go well for him) but don’t wait to long (the dreaded friendship zone).

#16

What is with some men and having a genuine fear of rejection? I’ve had a few partners, i’ve had a few girls, but fuck me, the rejections out weigh the successes by far! Thats just the way it works.

#17

Chatting to mates and girls over a few beers usually chases away any demons of past relationships. It’s nice to have some female conversation without trying anything, and it gets you over being nervous talking to women (a problem I used to have :stuck_out_tongue: )

#18

Probably you are right. Sometimes, I think that I couldn’t start a relationship because I’ve place so much obstables on the way just for lack of self-confidence.

SassyRobot: my friend didn’t like her at the start, but, when the whole situation fell appart, it was discovered that she got a move on he, not the opposite. Plus, to get this girl, it was the only time in my entire life that I gave up entirelly about values of being honest and keeping a moral integrity, even if she shown me that values like that are not on her list of, ah, how can I say, “day-to-day behaviour”. This happened and I never could get over it. But, really, thanks man.

taxi_evil: nice suggestion. I don’t drink beer or any alcoholic beverage, but I could see your point.

#19

Try only being able to fall in love with bi-chicks, and having lesbians tell you that they’d be all over you if you were a girl.

#20

time for a sex change

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