Let us bitterly contemplate our failures

I consider almost every decision I have ever made to be a mistake.

Life is about making good decisions. To make good decisions, you need experience. To gain experience, you have to make bad decisions.

And these days, making a bad decision can ruin your life.

It’s true :frowning:

Only just today, I decided to wait a bit and finish a project before going to the toilet. When I was done (took about 2 hours), I rushed to the toilet, only to find some plumbers installing now toilets. I had to run up the stairs to the third floor to get to a toilet that wasn’t tackled by the plumbers.

Bad decisions ftl :frowning:

i have been unemployed for a year, and kind of crawled into a shell, I like to work but I hate “people”, so now im riddled with debt, have a weird fear of work and am alone alot cause im poor. My biggest regret and failure was letting certain “idiots” get away with what they got away with and thus putting me in this mess.

And by the way not having a “girlfriend” can sometimes be considered a blessing, say they cheat on you, are too clingy or just generally down right annoying. For example, whats up with you?, nothing im cool, why wont you tell me?, cause im alrite, your not, i am, dont snap at me, im not snapping at you, you just did again. Yes I am terribly morbid… lol

I’m afraid that I’m going to end up spending my youth worrying that I was growing older.

I’ve only ever had one close friend in my life.

I have been hopelessly infatuated with the same girl for the past three years.

I am unmotivated and procrastinate at self-destructive levels.

I do not like my friends.

And my dog of ten years died last week :[

Other then that, it’s all good in the 'hood.

Weird, I stumble across this thread while listening to “Everything’s Ruined” by Faith No More.

I don’t know. The only thing I really regret is still being a virgin.

I do believe I have you all beat. Not because I am so much more superior at failing than all of you, but I think only cuz I have had the blessing of time to see my screwup in such a wonderful light.

My screw up is not that I am a screw up myself. Oh I am, but that is not my biggest failure. My biggest failure is that I am a bad parent. I look at my oldest son and I see snippets of the past that would have made a difference in his life and he would have been a much better person for it. I did that. I messed him up. Yet there is nothing I can do about it. Let me explain:

  1. As a toddler, I knew reading to your child on a regular basis was KEY to good schooling. I didnt feel like it tho. No really. He would bring me books to read and I would tell him “no I dont feel like it” cuz I was lazy. He grew up and did horribly in school. For 13 years he struggled in school big time. I could have prevented that by simply reading to him as a toddler.

  2. He didn’t go to daycare. I thought I was being smart by “being with my child” during his first years, but to be honest I did nothing with those first years. I taught him the basics like abcs and tying his shoes. But never really challenged him to open his mind to new ideas and games. Had he gone to daycare, he would have at least learned some of the basics of social behavior.

  3. In grade school I insisted he not fight. At all. To walk away at all costs. Yeah, this made him an easy target for bullies and of course everyone likes a bully. There were times it was a shark feeding frenzy with him running home to avoid a fight. Yeah, he never got over that. I am still not over that.

  4. I pulled him out of Karate. My one concession to attempt to make up for the poor lesson of “walk away from a fight” was to perhaps give him some confidence in himself and put him in karate. Yeah, till I pulled him out cuz his grades were horrible. I was hoping it was temporary. It wasnt. He never went back. And it was something he was good at.

  5. I talked with him about drugs and we agreed he would stay away. But somehow I still failed to keep him away from the dangers of weed. And before you all start to spout your opinion of being in favor of it, spare me. Cuz his weed need caused our house to erupt on a regular basis for 6 fecking years. From the time he was 15 to the time we kicked him out at 18 he was an asswipe that no on wanted to be around. Fights, chaos, anger and hatred ruled our house cuz he was looking for his next hit and we wouldnt allow him to be high all the time or in our house. That means for 6 years I was trying to pay attention and parent my oldest while my middle child was given less attention. (And now a new round of failures are coming up with child number two and three.)

So when you guys say you are depressed or sad or you hate your life, remember this. You have the full power to do something about it and to make a change. Even a small change causes a positive butterfly effect that will make your life better. Dont be lazy and dont procrastinate.

You dont want to end up like me guys… where not only did you screw up your own life, but you screwed up your kid as well.

catzeyes i think you’re being terribly harsh on yourself, clearly I dont know the full extent of what has passed but to me it sounds like it was the world around your son that made him the way he was not you. If my mothers failings (And they really are terrible) had “soley” shaped me I’d be one nasty SOB

I was eating a grapefruit and I got juice in my eye. I hate grapefruit more then ever now.

I am not Dutch.

This basically. I’m also insecure to the point of losing contact with some good friends, and having a hard time making new ones. But that has gotten a lot better in the past two years.

I’ve been in a quasi-relationship with that girl for a while now though, but I’m afraid that by the time it’s over, I’ll regret never having been with anyone else. Well, if I’m lucky, it’ll never end.

This thread sounds awfully similar to alot of the stuff that gets posted on /b/. Although it’s good to know that there are other people out there in the world with similar issues and I think talking about it and letting it out is some good therapy.
/Dr Pheel.

Enjoy your depression.

Indeed.

My mom was an awesome mom. She had four kids.

Oldest: Not very successful, but has the heart of a saint and is intelligent and humble

Second child: An oblique failure. He cannot stand people and he has been a depressive, self absorbed prick for years. He always manages to get in over his head and I fear for his life 'cause he is somewhat suicidal

Third child: Was abusive (to me) and was easily bent under the will of peer pressure. She has redeeming qualities but its hard for me to see them, haha.

Myself: Gifted, Passive, Reclusive, Eccentric, Hypochondriac etc etc.

I can say from watching my brothers and sisters in thier lives and myself in my own that 90% of the bad shit that we do comes from traumatic experiences outside the home. My home life wasn’t perfect, but it was nearly so, and almost everything that is fucked up about me was caused by crap that happened at school or with my peer group. Almost everything good about me was enabled by my mom.

Sometimes what happens to your kids in the outside world is very much outside of your control. You can send them to this school or that, ground them or let them roam free, read to them or let them create thier own stories, but in the end life will still happen to them, and life can be terribly random and unfair to the nicest of people.

You have to find the right one.

I’ve learned that there are as many different flavors of therapist out there as there are people.

Some are absent minded hippies that tell you to go to your happy place, others are frowny men that are overly concerned with your sex life, still others are very comforting, intelligent people who you can spill your guts too and feel amazing afterward.

Thankfully in my country I get a therapist for free, so I can afford to hop from person to person to see which one suits my tastes.

There you have it, move to Canada and find the therapist that’s right for you!

Volunteering.

You’d have to give it a try to find out. You can keep it confidential (as confidential as the internet lets you) by pming or emailing. I’ve got a fake email addy you could write to.

Of course, you’d have to put an awful lot of trust into a total stranger. Your decision. I am not even sure I could be of help. That depends on what your problems are.

I am just saying: IF I can be of help, I will gladly try.

Well just recently a little girl named Sophia on youtube asked me to be kind, and I was so enchanted by her cuteness I couldn’t resist.

blush

Gawd I am such a pussy…

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