Let us bitterly contemplate our failures

Where all fucked up, you just have to learn how to deal with it. I hate and cannot trust women. But i deal with it so i don’t act like a dick to every girl i meet.

About school, I always had below average grades, it wasn’t cuz I was stupid or couldn’t learn fast enough, it was because I was so incredibly BORED. As soon as a class started, I was already falling asleep, it’s like an addiction, I spent so much time on the PC that I only slept 5 hours at home and 5 more hours at school. I missed so much in class that sometimes I didn’t know what subject being taught and what was the name of the teacher, I just made sure to not miss the exam days and brought energy drinks to keep myself awake during an important assignment. Then one day I woke up and I had my diploma… Most of my teachers said if I wanted I could have finished school in 1 year with my mental abilities, but I had absolutely 0 motivation.

The problem is, I still don’t, I just feel like staying on the PC…

Sounds like gaming addiction.

Writing:
You sound as if you have yet to let your ‘creative mind’ loose to do its own thing. Everyone has an imagination, no matter how unimaginative they feel. Some just have better access to it than others. If you are worried about being unoriginal, know that every human being who has ever set ‘pen to paper’ has thought the same thing.

Sometimes it helps just to write nonsense. Don’t worry about how good the story is or who the characters are or if its been done before or no. Just think of ridiculous situations and characters and write them down. Follow your intuition. Keep going until you are exhausted. By the end of it I can guarantee that you will have surprised yourself with some of the things you come up with. You might even use fragments of this mess to develop actual short stories.

Drawing:
Drawing is a whole nother beast. I have taken college level art courses, and unlike thier high school counterparts they actually teach you how to get in “the zone” and draw, and it works wonders. If you settle down, relax, turn off any music with lyrics and make sure no one talks to you (language is a killjoy for getting in touch with your natural visual-spatial processing part of your brain) and start drawing, you can learn to control it with time. It takes massive concentration at first, but after awhile you can settle into ‘drawing mode’ with relative ease.

Before you learn to draw, you need to learn to look.

More likely internet addiction.

I struggle with that myself because of the vastness of knowledge and information at my fingertips.

If it was actually healthy to stay at the computer all day everyday I would probably do it.

Its not though, so I force myself to go out unto the world and do things. That and I have my rig set up so that I can change from a sitting position to a standing position at any time (to prevent blood clots in ze legs)

Yes, yes. I forgot to mention that.

Once you learn how to see properly the world appears to have at least 10x the dimensionality as it does before you gain the ability. You have to learn to look past what things are called (aka thats a chair or a table) and begin to see things as they truly are: Matter; Shapes and Light.

Yeah, but if you were really seeking knowledge, you’d probably not roam these forums. You’d be out there educating yourself on some online encyclopedia. You’d be too busy reading important information from different sources and comparing the different views from different scientists on a cosmological theory to be able to pick your own stance on that topic.

I have the same problem. I keep telling myself I use the internet to educate myself, but I always end up on youtube, wikipedia, failblog.org and associated funstuff sites and diverse gaming community forums.

That’s not really education.

I would argue that anything that satiates your curiosity about the world could be considered education. It need not cost 10000 dollars for it to be deemed legitimate.

I’m as interested in people as I am books.

In fact I write dissertations for one of my professors about human interaction through digital mediums such as cell phones and internet forums, as well as the proliferation of memes.

Furthermore, healthy debate and discussion can do wonders for one’s intellect. It sharpens and refines it, while teaching you to be cautious about simply rehearsing one’s biases. New perspectives and all that.

I could read wikipedia all day but there is only so much you can learn in one day before head asplode. :retard:

I do however lose touch with reality after a time, and my brother often calls me a ‘zombie’ when I peel myself away from my work. It can be unhealthy at times.

I don’t have a talent. I don’t suck at anything, but I’m not super good with anything either. I’m just average at everything. I’m just an average student with average scores, average friends, average habits, average job, average life.

The day I was born my parents probably said: “Damn, we just created the most average guy in the world. That sucks.”

You are from Canada, so you can go to the USA and people will think you are interesting.

Same here, pretty much.
I’d much prefer to be slightly better than most people at something than not being bad at anything.

I for one am completely disinterested in preforming math.

I use mathematical concepts, and enjoy learning about math, but actually learning it and attempting to memorize formulas is, to me, a tedious, painful exercise in futility.

In fact, one of my failures is that I only have math to a Grade 11 level, and even then it is applied math and not pure (they separate the math curriculum here into two levels).

I barely graduated high school because of it, as I took said Grade 11 math by correspondance (on the internet, basically), didn’t do any of the work, and only passed because I got above 80% on the final exam.

In other news, there is a girl I’ve been in love with for nearly a decade now (but never officially dated), and she came over last night. I always feel terrible after I see her because she is so permanently out of my reach, but I cannot seem to deny her the pleasure of my company. I very much dislike how permanent the emotion of love actually is. The ironic thing is that her biggest issue is that guys never commit to her. She always loses them in the end. That the emotion remains within me after all these years is quite astounding.

Before anyone says that the solution is obvious, just date eachother, we have discussed it at length (she knows my feelings) and she does not wish to go down that road. I also have doubts it would work, though of course being a guy I would at least like to try, haha.

How about failure at making original threads

https://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=109852

Oh shit busted

At least this way we can compare who fails harder, penny arcade forums or black mesa forums.

Eh… >_> I don’t know…

Ah those intellectual mac using coffee sipping beret wearing penny arcade types, yeah I’d say they’re more fucked up than us. Maybe.

easy way to find out, read the thread.

Try to find references to pants-shitting, that should clear things up.

Founded in 2004, Leakfree.org became one of the first online communities dedicated to Valve’s Source engine development. It is more famously known for the formation of Black Mesa: Source under the 'Leakfree Modification Team' handle in September 2004.