If a programming language was a boat …

#1

Turing

Turing would definitely be a kayak (thank you for comments). It’s small. It’s human powered. It’s often used as a beginner “boat”. And it’s also very Canadian.

Java

Java is a cargo ship. It’s very bulky. It’s very enterprise~y. Though it can also carry a lot of weight. Will carry a project, but not very fun to drive.

Perl

Perl is a tugboat. Powerful enough to tug Java around, in 80 characters or less.

Ruby

Ruby is difficult to describe. It’s sleek, sexy, and very fun to drive. Here’s a picture. Very trendy.

PHP

PHP is a bamboo raft. A series of hacks held together by string. Still keeps afloat though.

C

C is a nuclear submarine. The instructions are probably in a foreign language, but all of the hardware itself is optimized for performance.

C-sharp

Like a luxury cruiser. Sleek, good looking and quite comfy. However, not very fast , expensive and somewhat limiting.

Python

Undeniably beautiful and elegant in the water, tends to be solid and reliable. Will work with little intervention, but also provides sails to help you go that little bit faster.

HTML

HTML isn’t really a programming language boat.

Javascript

Like James Bond Q Boat. It’s small but powerful and it’s really easy to get yourself killed trying to use it.

FORTRAN77

https://www.candesprojects.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/boat_10.jpg

A concrete boat that still lurkes under the surface. You wouldn’t want to set sail with it though. Try navigating around it.

There’s a lot more to the list, and it’s all up for discussion. You can read more opinions on the forum.

My big question is why PHP is a bamboo rafting, and why Rails is better that PHP.
Maybe they didn’t look at PHP5? They are many good frameworks and I really enjoy working with it.

Anyway I thinks PHP is a fishing trawler. Not fancy, not super speedy, but it does exactly what it’s supposed to do, takes a lickin, keeps on tickin. And, it’s cheap.

https://www.candesprojects.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/boat_13.jpg

How would your favorite programming language fare in open waters

And someone said Visual basic was like this

https://www.candesprojects.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/boat_11.jpg

(ORIGINAL SOURCE https://www.candesprojects.com/general/if-a-programming-language-was-a-boat-…/ )

#2

Hahaha . Loved the HTML one.

#3

Great, assuming the C++ falls under C.

HTML was awesome.

#4

Holy shit that’s old. It’s good, but everybody has seen this. You could’ve also made it less messy by keeping the original layout.

#5

But we lost it after 3 crashes, so it should have a welcome return.

#6

I remember the similar one, but there were OSes and planes.

#7

I saw a similar thread on /g/ this week, it was comparing programming languages to handy tools like swiss army knife vs a spoon vs a chainsaw.

#8

https://www.m5p.com/~pravn/foot.html

#9

What’s the thing he talks about at the bottom, when he talks about ‘roots?’
That looks like an old game I used to play when I was like… 6 or so, on my old win95 machine. Lol I’m trying to remember but my nostalgia lacks memory :stuck_out_tongue:

#10

Zork.

#11

So, would that put me
puts on sunglasses
on a boat?

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[/SIZE]

#12

I lol’d

I thought it was text-only counter strike.

#13

Lamsey, you are my hero.

#14

Damn, they don’t have assembly on there… Oh well. Assembly isn’t really a boat, it’s the parts to the boat, given to you in the back of a dumptruck, with a parts list that differentiates a bolt from a screw, but doesn’t actually tell you where any of them fucking go.

#15

i don’t see the relations .\

i’d say that this is assembler,

and this is c

etc.

#16

That’s the hottest C has ever looked, and most likely the hottest it ever will.

#17

C, compared to the average girl C programmer.

#18

Assembly is a first-level language specific to each different processor chipset that allows the programmer direct access to the functions of the CPU. And it is a BITCH to program in… a simple for loop can take dozens of lines of code.

#19

But the results can be worth it DAMN IT! JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE!!! GIVE… IT… A… CHANCE… :’(

#20

I love this thread so much :slight_smile:

Founded in 2004, Leakfree.org became one of the first online communities dedicated to Valve’s Source engine development. It is more famously known for the formation of Black Mesa: Source under the 'Leakfree Modification Team' handle in September 2004.