Sounds like something the UN might have invented!
"The European Union commissioners have announced that
an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the
preferred language for European communications, rather
than German, which was the other possibility. As part
of the negotiations, the British government conceded
that English spelling had some room for improvement
and has accepted a five year phased plan for what will
be known as Euro English (Euro for short).
In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the
soft “c”. Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this
news with joy. Also, the hard “c” will be replaced
with “k”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but
typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing public enthusiasm in the sekond
year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replased by
“f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 persent
shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible. Governments will
enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the
language is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
such as replasing “th” by “z” and “w” by “v”.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd
from vords kontaining “ou”, and similar changes vud,
of kors, be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik
zey vunted in ze forst plas.
[END]"
