I am rapidly losing respect for both of you.
Pfft, as if you had any respect to begin with.
Very little I admit. But now there’s none.
In that case, my work here is done.
I’m still making these shitty cartoons though.
NOTE: I’d center align the dialog but the forum doesn’t seem to have a function for that.
INT. FORUM CYBERSPACE
MAXEY (20s) teleports into the main page of the mod of BLACK MESA. The environment looks like something out of Tron- gridlines with image files representing the various sub-forums.
FORUM HEADER
Hello. And Welcome to the Black Mesa Forum. The time is-
MAXEY
Yeah, heard it before.
Maxey walks over the hyperlink for RAMINATOR’S LADIES’ CLUB.
INT. RAMINATOR’S LADIES’ CLUB
Smoke begins to drift past Maxey as he walks into the ladies club. Asthetically, it’s reminiscent of the “Heaven’s Night” gentlemen’s club from Silent Hill 2. A pole dancing area takes center stage, with a soft purple light cast about the room. In the corner, a CROWD gathers, watching RAMINATOR (20s) beat the ever loving shit out of a forum newbie for asking about the release date.
FANCY PANTS (20) drifts into the room next to Maxey with an amused expression.
FANCY
Watching that never gets old, does it?
MAXEY
No. No it doesn’t.
ERIC FONG (20s) breaks away from the dance floor for a moment.
FONG
Yo, Fancy! Can I get you anything?
Fancy ignores him as she walks behind the bar desk to talk with JAMES KANE.
MAXEY
Nice try.
FONG
Maybe next week…
He goes back to the crowd as Maxey takes a seat at the bar. The club music is in full swing now, the beats rattling the glasses on the table.
Dear lord, this is like everything that was ever wrong with the exterior interpretation of this community mixed into one script.
Well, since GoAnimate is about as simple as taking a piss, I can’t use much of that. But I can use the gags and enviroments, for the most part.
In fact, I’ll go do that now.
oh boy this is going to be shitty.
brace yourselves.
I don’t want to brace myself for a pile of shit on my face… I’d rather not have it happen.
The joy of having 10 year-olds on the forum.
Admittedly yeah, that’s off the cuff and bad. I’ll probably try a different opening later.
The real problem is trying to make a plot for this place. I mean, what really ties this place together, anyway? The mod is only part of the equation. The interactions between forumgoers are generally the most interesting part of the experience, because these sorts of interactions generally take the form of some of the greatest insult comedy on the internet. If I try to write any more on this I’ll take that sort of angle.
I’m also going to make a conscious effort not to add a character like myself to the script, because self inserts are terrible as characters.
There’s been better new people coming onto the forum more frequently, so I’ll be sure to show some of them interacting as well. But overall I want to keep the cast list tight so I can actually try to do some characterization.
I don’t think you’re witty enough to make up the level of insult humor that this place shits out on a regular basis.
Au contrare, Proximity. One of my in progress scripts is an insult comedy about filmmakers and school politics. But the difference between writing like that and writing for people on this forum is that everyone here are technically strangers. I can’t rely on the characters being friends in real life, so the banter can be skewed with a lot more venom.
GIVE ME THE NEW EPISODE ALREADY
As for the direction of the insult humor, the key to making it work is to not base it entirely on stuff that’s happened on here already- do that and the series is one giant in-joke. I want to have the situations depicted look like they could conceivably take place, so it’s true to the forum but without the niche appeal of being a record of previous humor.
Besides, repeating other people’s jokes in a different context isn’t very funny.
^ Like THAT. That was pitch perfect.
Has anyone actually read your script and told you its funny.
Because it probably isn’t.
Wat.
(From above mentioned script)
Tom and Skip walk at a leisurely pace through the throngs of people getting out of class.
SKIP
I dunno, Tom, is it to much to ask?
TOM
What’s this about?
SKIP
Like, is it too much to ask to meet someone who actually gives two shits about me? Who cares that I care? Who cares back?
TOM
You’ve already met her, man. Name’s Rosie Palms.
SKIP
Asshole. Where the fuck was I? Like, is it too much to ask for a girl who’s not lying to her family 24/7, lying to me, supposedly trying not to hurt me but actually hurting me regardless?
TOM
What about Rohypnol.
SKIP
You aren’t taking this discussion very seriously, are you?
TOM
No, because you sound like a whiny little bitch with his brain up his cock. Seriously, listen to yourself. It’s pitiful.
SKIP
Well excuse me mister “I got fucking whipped by my awesome girlfriend and you didn’t.”
TOM
Oh fuck off! I have an excuse- I have needs, Skip. And what do you have? You aren’t a masochist, are you?
SKIP
Emotionally, yes. Physically, no.
TOM
I swear, you’re the lesbian in this equation.
SKIP
Oh, please, my man-tits aren’t THAT big.
TOM
Sure? I’m seeing at least A-cups.
SKIP
Fuck off.
OVER BLACK
Title Card: The Morbid and Sordid Saga of Tom and Skip
Title Card: Episode One: In che modo si abbino a fuggire il adulatori
But yeah, at any rate I can’t use this sort of style for the forum. The above characters have been friends for years, and despite plenty of profanity and jabs at each other’s personal histories they generally seem civil. I’d have to change things up if I was going to write people here, big time.
HAHAHAHA THAT WAS HILAR-
wait no that was pretty shitty.
I didn’t even crack a smile.