I like the fact I am a man-bot with fuck-chip-kicking-ability
The mental image of Rabid I can deal with, but Sanfrod with a cock?
Wait wait wait, she doesn’t have one?
One would think.
Oh right, silly me.
The kid stood there, everyone waiting for him to say something. Knowing they would listen to every word he said and that it would be groundbreaking new ideas, he opened his mouth.
“O hai guize! u shold maek balk meas oposn farce nd blu shft too an den add irnsites n blm n stuff n prt t to teh cryengne cuz sayrce iz oudadeded. wans dis mod cumming ut?”
The kid ceased to exist, a large, smoking crater where he had stood.
Drabble-matic motherfuckers awwwyeah:
The Healthy Stranger
The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Door strode along the path, making for Bitter Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Obnoxious Can, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Leg.
A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his thundering Rifle just in time to face the brave man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.
The man struck vivaciously, and Door barely raised his Rifle to meet the attack. They fought long and merrily until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.
At last, Door found himself forced to one knee, the man’s Rifle pressed to his magnificent Fingertip. “I am Nosehole of Bitter Castle,” he said. “You are an unworthy guardian for the Obnoxious Can. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you under a table.”
But Door had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his Rifle with a twist, overpowered Nosehole and pinned him to the ground. “What say you now?” Door said, looking down upon him.
Nosehole’s Ear shimmered as if it would die at the thought. “I have underestimated you, Door. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty…and more.”
Door’s desire was enflamed. His Fingertip throbbed and all his thoughts were to Slide Nosehole like a Dragon. Door caressed Nosehole’s wooden Ear and he responded. They came together smoothly, and their joining was as silly as their battle, and also much louder.
“Ah, my sweet Bean!” Door groaned and Slid Nosehole as inquisitively as he could.
“Ouch!” he yelled. “What the hell is that?”
“Oh,” Door said. “That’s where I put the Obnoxious Can for safekeeping. Sorry.”
When they had finished their romp, they drowsed badly on the grass, forgetful of all but their scrawny love. “We will stay together forever,” Nosehole said, and they began all over again.
And so it was that the Wizard Leg never got the Obnoxious Can and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.
There was once a quiet website known as blackmesasource.com that was a peaceful political forum.
"Senator Gordon Friedmon voted against President Bush’s bill to send nuclear warheads to other countries… 
" Posted James Leggen.
“I for one think Senator Barneth should topple the vote in favor of the president,” replied Alan Kenneth, “because the president is smarter than us.”
“No,” Said Bokito, “Barney should bang on the door, and when he sees Gordon, he does a backflip, plays Through fire and the flames 100% right on expert on Guitar Hero 3, waves, shouts “BEER” a hundred of times, jump on the tram, gives Gordon a beer, jumps back, does a BARREL ROLL, kicks in the door, and the tram goes around the corner.” There was a ghastly silence as what he said sank in. “…Whoops, sorry. Wrong reality.”
once there was an ugly forum
it was so ugly, that everyone died.
the end
I glanced but when I didn’t see my name anywhere I stopped and realized it was shit.
What a happy story. I’m inspired.
“Hey, guys!” Winged One ran into the thread. “I tried sucking Raminator’s dick and all I got was this stupid user title!”
There was a long pause.
“…A lot of people like cake.” A Gargantua said. He was then banned.
Three days later, the moderators realized they banned a Valve dev.
ONCE UP A TIME IN A PLACE CALLED BLACK MESA. EVERYTHING WAS UPSIDE DOWN. “WE’RE DANCING ON THE CEILING” SHOUTED JAMESKANE. THEN WE BOOGIED DOWN(BUTREALLYUPBUTSORTOFNOT) SOME MORE. THEN GRAVITY FIXED ITSELF AND WE FELL DOWN BUT REALLY UP BUT ALSO DOWN ONTO THE GROUND WHICH WAS THE CEILING A MOMENT AGO. THEN RABIDMONKEY CAME IN AND MADE TACOS. “TACO TACO” WE ALL SAID. THEN A WALRUS CAME IN. THEN GRAVITY STARTED SPINNING AROUND THE WALRUS. AND WE DANCED ALL OVER THE ROOM. CEILING. WALLS. FLOORS. EVERYWHERE. THEN CORGI OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE AND IT WENT “YAPYAPYAPYAP” AND PATONKI WAS ALL LIKE “D’AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW” AND EVERYONE LOVED CORGIS. THEN DOOR ANALLY VIOLATED JUST ABOUT EVERYONE.
THE END.
I came so hard it hit the ceiling.
You mean the floor. Which is also the ceiling? But really just the floor.
No, I like fapping upside down. 
WE NEED MORE OF THIS SHIT!
Spooks! Get to it!
There is a lot of door banging/slamming. As long as it’s in a sexy way, I approve.
That is glorious.
Agreed!
wun dayy fat n3rds were on intrnet forms
it was abot vidio gaem mod caled balck meas 4eva nd was nevr finishd
edn