?
Well, that would fall under training yes?
The sad part is, how her free rein is going to cost her as an adult… not to mention those around her.
I feel for you sersoft - that is not so good.
hahaha! oh wow… that little girl would have a very sore bottom if that happened in my house!
There IS that ‘fear factor’ that works wonders on those very specific destructible type behaviors. Oh I know some of you will gasp in horror cuz I DO believe in a paddle to the buttocks. But I for one don’t want to be the parent in the store going “honey, put the marker down, you cant draw on the tv. put it down now or else we are going to have a timeout. I am serious sweety, you really cant do that. oh now look… you are going to have to have a timeout cuz you broke it.”
I on the other hand (brace yourselves folks) would grab the kid by the lobe of his ear (very painful yet no permanent damage) and take them to the bathroom, pull down the pants and give a few good swats. The hard part is expressing the discipline without losing your cool. Any discipline done with fury is really not good. The child needs to know on a subconscious level that you are still in control. Otherwise the “fear of repercussion” turns into a “fear of parent” WHICH is counter productive to any learning environment.
Wow… where did all that come from? I didn’t MEAN to get philosophical!
If someone honestly gasps in horror at that, I’m gonna rage so hard you’ll have to ban me. It’s retards that cant say no and back it up which is the reason there are so many bad children.
another reason not to have kids? these thousands of dumbasses that freak when you dicipline your child.
no offence to anyone who might be one of these dumbasses.
They are the ones that are horrified that a child would be spanked, but they are also the first one to say it is the parent’s fault that the kid is unruly.
On an upswing for the thread… Isaac my 5 year old has now graduated from regular hourly belching to now belching in words. I asked him a question the other day and he let out a perfect “yyyeeeesssssss”. I died laughing. 
EDIT: I just found something that makes parenting so funny sometimes. All I got to say to premise this with is… No matter what you do, you KNOW that somewhere in your kid’s life you are gonna totally tramatize him. And there is nothing you can do to stop it from happening.
I always tried to avoid doing anything that resulted in my parents getting mad, or restricting something, but even then it’s not good, my mother thinks i’ve got a mental illness of some kind, even though i told her and the psychologist she took me to one year ago i’m fine, she’s still going to that person.
It’s no good having a mental illness, but it’s worse when people think you have one, while you don’t really have one. Note that my parents are divorced, i won’t go into details on how or why, but suffice it to say, not everybody could cope with what i and my brother and sister had to go through, and they went to live with my dad 6 years ago.
This was because my mother wouldn’t break her relationship with the person who caused the divorce, who also happened to be a teacher, who hated children. My mother still wouldn’t believe my sister if she told her that he hit her once in school, she even continued the relationship after he threatened us multiple times.
He’s dead now, when he died she went racing around the city trying to get some of his money. Not exactly what you’d expect from your own mother when you consider what’s he caused.
After 2 pages of trolling, LeakFree came back.
I think spanking can have value, but the flip side is, that there IS a corrilation between spanking and issues relating to self worth. That said, I am not suggesting that because a person gets a spanking that they are going to turn out messed up - I am saying that a parent has to be careful, as Catz already mentioned.
There are extremes to either approach to parenting. Not enough disipline, and you DO spoil a child. Disipline a child harshly, and it can cause issues with your childs world veiw.
For me, my kids are all grown up (pretty much) so that whole things is well behind us. Were it not, I would be very careful in using spanking, becuase I am rather a large and powerful person. The idea is connect pain to an activity - that pain certainly does not need to be a spanking. As I say, I think it being used very sparingly is best. A quick squeeze on the trapazoid works very good as well, when a quick connection with behavior and pain is needed in that moment.
The part that amazes me, is that punishment is also a way for a child to feel cleansed of guilt for doing things they know they shouldn’t. Again, a person has to be VERY careful with this… evey child is different. Each child needed to be dealt with differently. Some kids are going to push the limits many time before they trust that you are capable of protecting them. (That is why many kids push teh limits in the first place)
I would rather redirrect a kid from potential problems, than to let them have it. Better to keep a kid happy and willing to comply, than to have to take it to an extreme.
Humans are the only creatures who don’t know how to raise children.
Highly conclusive, as many other species would be happy to eat them.
(Hahaha)
there are many screwed up “parents” in the animal kingdom as well - Many.
(By the way, how are things down under? bush fires stopped I take it?)
I’m afraid to have children because of all the behaviorial experiments I know I’d put them through.
I agree with you. I believe that parents need to balance between talking and punishment. Talking is only effective once the kid is old enough to understand, and does not work always. Timeouts and restrictions may also be effective if applied correctly, but not when the kid is out of control, like that girl. When punishing your child you always have to be tough, talking sweety this and honey that (or, as it is common here, little this, little that) just won’t work. I don’t know very much about parenting, though, except the experiences I had as a son and things that I observe in other families.
Well, I kinda have a related, funny story. I have always been very distracted. Once a kindergarten teacher gave my class a test which consisted of drawing five straight lines several times. I did it a few times and found it was boring, it was so easy. I began to tell some kind of story to a friend at my side while moving the pencil randomly on the paper, showing him what was happening. The result was a mess, a very round zero made with a pen on top of the test and the teacher trying to ask me how could I have failed in such a simple task. I was ashamed and couldn’t say.
The director of the kindergarten (who, to us, kids, was a very angry, tall woman) spoke to my mother, saying that she suspected that I had some kind of mental problem, that I probably could never go any further than 2nd grade. There was a class with children 2 or 3 years old that could only make indistinguishable noises, I was 5 and they put me there. I was always very quiet and innocent, so I didn’t feel angry and thought it was normal.
Some time passed, and I was told by my mother that a doctor would check if it was everything OK with my dreams while I slept. That in my mind was an adventure, the doctor would be able to see my dreams, so I would dream with a super hero who I invented and amaze the doctor. My mother took me to a neurologist. The neurologist told me to lay down on the couch and put some sensors or whatever on my head. It never occurred to me what was really going on. I don’t remember if I really had to sleep though.
As a conclusion, I remember that, some day, back to the kindergarten, the door to the class of younger children closed before I could enter, and some teacher there told me to go to the line with my old class. And so did I without questioning. Never went back to the babies’ class.
Nowadays I am in the 2nd year… studying for a Master’s Degree I just wonder what would be the face of director of the kindergarten if she knew that.
I know it is a joke, but other species don’t know anything. They also don’t live in society, which is very different from the jungle. The problem is we need to deal with reason, not instinct, because you can’t depend on your instinct to deal with people, study, get a job…
The thing is, a lot of parents don’t even display instinct when raising kids, outside of minor things like “I know how he’s feeling” or something like that. Other mammals can rely totally on instinct to know what to do, a human has to actually LEARN how take care of its young, which is problematic when no one really knows to correct way.
Pfft, I used to get hit with a vacuum cleaner power cord.
My mum threw knives and forks (or anything she had in her hands at the time) at me and my brothers if we were being obnoxious (24/7, since we were kids). She would also smack me if I was being the typical child-attentionwhore, she would charge in with her slipper in her hand when I was being annoying. My mum knew how to raise kids. As a result, she has 3 sons that never broke the rules, never broke the law, never caused anyone any harm, graduated, have a job and are having a healthy and balanced life.
And about animals. Yes, in the animal kingdom, animals will kill that offspring. But only if they’re weak or abnormal. Apart from that, -all- animals in the wild are -the- perfect parents. But once you take them out of their natural habitat, once you start putting them away, you get issues with parenting skills not being passed on anymore, because there’s no reason why the parents should teach their young the tricks of the trade, since there’s no dangers or specific need for survival. At this point, you turned animals into humans in terms of parenting.
Hmmm an Ostrich will step on, and kill the chicks. Certain fish will eat their offspring. Primates WILL abandon their young (and the young will sometimes be adopted by other mothers - nothing wrong with the baby, just the moms off her clock. And so forth. How can that be considered as being perfect?
I never said anything about it being perfect.
So animals that are bad parents are an exception, whereas humans that are good parents are the exception.
Some reptiles (like the Komodo dragon) abandon their children and will actually eat them in case they encounter each other latter:
There was also a problem with some henhouse where the chickens learned to eat their own eggs, fertilized or not.
I tried to do all the right things with child one and two. Surprise child three came along and I thought… hey, I think I wanna have fun with this one. (Yes, I do have a mischievous streak in case ya’ll have not figured it out.)
So, at 3 I taught him how to fore finger/thumb/fore head “loser”, and I taught him 2 thumbs/2 fore finger “whatever”. I also taught him how to 2 thumbs/2 fore finger “I heart you!” and how to wink with a smack of the tongue while saying “hubba hubba”. It was all fun and games till one day…
At preschool he kept calling this one kid “looser” with his fingers. Everyone laughed but the teacher didn’t appreciate the talent. So she told him “Isaac, we don’t call people loser. It hurts their feelings”. He promptly responded with “whatever”.
Oh and then there was the other hilarious incident that I got blamed for but is TOTALLY WRONG cuz I dont do that!! One of the kids did something wrong and exclaimed “OH MY GOD!”. Another kid replied "My mom says “Oh my gosh!”. Another kid said "My mom says “Oh my goodness”. and MY kid Isaac said "My mom says “oh fuck!”.
HAHAHA!!! NO I DONT BUT THAT IS SO FUNNY!!!