CptObvious was an Orpheon born to an alcoholic mother and an ac3d addicted father who was left as a ward of the state at an early age. However, this Savant knew that looking smart was only half the battle and since she loved guns the only thing in her way now was being known as a bigfan421 miles removed from the last known gun free zone.
Life expectancy here was never considered to be on a Level playing field and living with her brother, Hubicorn, didn’t make it any easier. TheFrozen Chameleon outside on a tree limb was proof enough that this frozen wasteland should not be taken lightly.
Her brother spent many an hour on youtube finally finding the one video he had spent his entire life searching for. Oddly enough, it was created by some Nerdguy he actually knew. Xalener 's youtube video had reached epic viewing numbers. but still, he couldn’t seem to connect with those who were actually inPower. Leading the list of his 108Problems was that he was a real Smat alec and the fact that his supposed Awesomeness! existed only in his own tiny little mind. He was blind to the town’s collective indignation towards him even as he opened the Door to his favorite barbeque joint for a once in a lifetime special treat.
BahamutBBob had been in business a long time and prior to opening the restaurant Bob had worked as a geekofalltrades at the district’s governmental recycling facility on the outskirts of town. Strange things took place there. It seemed that Someonerandm would simply disappear from that area on a fairly regular basis never to be seen again. Rumor was that Bob made human gibbelin and gravy, from those who went missing, for the town’s elite and that they paid nicely for the service. Funny how tales like that get started but stranger things had been known to occur ever since DiePoente Industries had relocated to the area. Prior to that time, he ran a gaming acade365 days a year but that was so time consuming that he decided to open a diner instead. He had thought about revitalizing his blue man act but that was just a dream from his past. He knew that no one would want to see Bluemen230 pounds heavier than what they were 10 years ago.
Sitting down to eat, he noticed the suggestive leg of lambda on the menu but he didn’t have near the amount of money necessary to pay for it as well as his special treat so he settled for the inexpensive brotwurst with wheybags brot just so he could splurge on an OrderofDragon fruit for dessert. It was the Maxeymum amount he could afford but, having the opportunity to eat a Fruit that the Mango Assassin bug hadn’t gotten to was well worth the expense. The problem was that he really didn’t know how to eat it; perhaps he could ask the Master Chef.
The diner had a big screen TV and South Park was on. You know, he thought, they must have killed k3nny1550 times yet it was still funny every time you saw it. It was borderline amazingcomedy and if Bart sIMson would have been on it too then it really would have been something else to see. TheBartMan and Eric Cartman constantly yelling “Scrue you” gave a familiarity to the show that true fans looked forward to hearing and that was something they really relished. The show was being allowed to be seen in China for the first time this year and it was a huge success. They made simple alterations to make it more appealing like changing the architecture a little and changing Eric Cartman’s name to Eric Fong. There was something else different about him too but no one could seem to put their finger on exactly what it was.
The show he was watching was suddenly interrupted by a breaking news story.
A Mr.Night, wearing a Hazzmat suit over an ill fitting Blevar vest, was being interviewed and spoke of the reappearance of a crazed religious zealot named David Keresh. Apparently, he had escaped death in the Waco fire with what he considered a gift from God in the form of unusual ManlyStump left as a reminder of his special purpose here on earth. It looked like url=https://www.worldwidewounds.com/2002/october/Bowley/images/www9.jpg(fodder[/url] and was beyondltd recognition as an arm until he was instructed by God to get a Medkit and dress it up as a dolphin. The pain in doing it was so severe, he would blackout multiple times prior to its completion but, it was God’s will and he knew he had to finish it.
His escape from death was accomplished by locating a modified Disturbulator while the federal occupation of the compound was taking place. He had lived life as a bobbo while on the run with ComradeTiki Barber who had been accused of domestic violence by his wife. Oddly enough, Tiki’s defense was that he would only striker when she truly deserved it so, he shouldn’t be found guilty. Obviously, this didn’t go over well with the jury.
His current Collision with the law was brought about when his ankle monitor revealed a CTID that showed him to be in proximity to the police’s current search for a missing Combine stolen from a demolition derby. They were being forced now to rely on Dr. Strangelove’s sister Tranta who actually more resembled Santa Clause than she did The Doctor himself. Unfortunately, TrantaLocked her keys in the getaway car so she was having to use her Android11x to try and reach help. She switched the heavily modified system on but, since the device had its signal boosted eleven fold, it showed up on regulatory monitors with a LimitBreaking output equal to that of TheSuperNova of 1969. The Trigger_Proximity of the device was immediately set off and quickly gave their positions away. Now they were all done for. A dangerous Solokiller SassyRobot exterminator was on its way.
The situation continued to unfold on the television as desert arrived. Paying the Nightmare470 credits for it was something that he knew he could never afford to do again but, a glass of Mont_Blanc followed by a shot of Jack Freeman would go a long ways in helping him to ignore the financial pain. Now, If only he could figure out exactly how to eat it.
He soon learned that he should have asked for expert help or at least watched a video on how to do it properly. Taking a bite of his dessert led to an emergency situation. Fortunately, calhoun freeman, sitting in the next booth, noticed his difficulties and sprang from his seat yelling “Everyone chill the f**k out, I got this!” Luciel, the waitress who had served him the dish, quickly joined in to help in the rescue.
Removing the fruit with the help of an oddly shaped RandomSpoon grabbed from the table resulted in a quick fix to the dangerous situation. Hubicorn was breathing again but was convinced this had to be some type of conspiracy to do him in. He never figured that anyone actually had the knowledge of his involvement with the truck accident in the first place nor would anyone have the courage to put into effect any type of plan that would actually turn into action against him. He knew he would know better in the future. After all, he did know one thing for sure and that was that True Awesomeness! would always prevail!
Don’t believe it?
Just ask Cpl.1nsane.
