It is common knowledge that irradiated cats have 18 half-lives.
Old but still awesome.
During the 1950’s and the 1960’s the United States of America and Russia took part in a race to put a man into space. Large amounts of money were spent and some of the most intelligent scientists worked together to design rockets to carry people into space. The Russians were the first country to put a min into space when Yuri Gagarin circled the Earth. The Russians were very proud. They were ahead in the space. However, the Americans won the next stage in the race. On the 20th of July 1969, Neil Armstrong became the first man to step into the surface of the moon. The Americans were proud and they were ahead in the space race.
The British, who had been a strong scientific power in the early part of the 20th century, were jealous. All the best British scientists had gone to work for the Americans because they were paid higher salaries and had better research facilities. The space scientists who remained in Great Britain had very little money to develop a British space programme.
In 1970 there was a big party in New York to celebrate the American landing on the Moon. One of the British scientists sent to the party decided to make a speech. He said proudly,
‘‘We are planning to land a man on the Sun. The Russians were the first into space. The Americans were the first to the Moon. However, the British will be the first to the sun.’’
An astonished Russian scientist asked,
‘‘What will you do about the intense heat and light? Have you developed new materials that won’t be melted by the sun?’’
An American scientist added,
‘‘What about the sun’s radiation? How will you protect the astronauts against it?’’
The British scientist laughed and said,
‘‘Do you think the British are stupid? We’ll go at night.’’
Hahaha, I had no idea where that was going (loooooong set-up!) but I lost at the end, even through my wounded national pride. 
A professor was sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe.
He spent years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.
One day the wife of the tribe’s chief gave birth to a white child.
The tribe was shocked.
The chief pulled the professor aside and said, “Look here! You’re the only white man we’ve ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened!”
The professor replied, “No, Chief. You’re mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilised world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion.”
The chief was silent for a moment, and then said, “Tell you what. You don’t say anything more about that sheep and I won’t say anything more about that white child.”
Hahahaha!
There’s a comic about that, I would search for it but MY LOVE FOR raw_bean PREVENTS ME![COLOR=‘White’]Actually he’s a huge faggot
Holy shit this is good.
Oh god I lost hard 
Please make the laughing stop ^^
One of the inventors of Viagra died this past Sunday at the age of 92.
The funeral was delayed by 2 hours when they couldn’t close the casket.
OH SHI-
^
The Office much?
wha?
A boring-as-shit british comedy including a manager that reminds me of the guy in that comic.
There’s an american one as well, but american one is great.
So was the British one.