The WTF thread.

[_rot_fodder]

Unless you are one of those pussies who wear underwear, I suppose having heavy objects strapped into your kilt could prove problematic when engaging in more rigorous activities like caber tossing or killing wild animals with your bare hands.

[GilCMassey]

Do it enough and you get numb. Trust me on this.

[Diabolical]

Scrounger mum Josie Cunningham has sold FOUR tickets to fans who wish to watch her give birth.
3AM have exclusively learned that the Leeds-born wannabe has made a whopping £30,000 from selling tickets to three journalists and one superfan (yes, really).
Josie has sold two £10,000 tickets - which allow spectators to film the birth, and two £5,000 tickets - which only allow people to watch.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/josie-cunningham-birth-show-sells-3929467#ixzz38t77KzoL

[Pyroclase]

FFS, that’s not even very much money.

[bur]

it isn’t?

[Chickenprotector]

“Fire challenge.”

Warning: This contains numerous circumstances of concentrated stupid and “Why the fuck would you do that to yourself?!” moments. You have been warned.[/SIZE]

[GilCMassey]

[Chickenprotector]

Wait… what?

A Miami Beach homicide detective will get his job back and back pay after he successfully argued that he tested positive for cocaine last year because he had used a sexual aid cream a few days before the drug test.

Detective Reinaldo Casas won his case in front of an arbitrator this week, after filing a grievance over his firing by the Miami Beach Police Department following his positive drug test in January 2013.

Casas said in the case that he had never knowingly used cocaine. He said he was able to pinpoint the possible cause to a “sexual aid cream” a friend gave him. “My girlfriend had applied the substance to enhance our sexual intercourse in the days prior to my drug screening," he explained.

Casas testified at a hearing that he got the cream from Idilio Godinez, a close friend of his. Godinez testified that he got the Vaseline-like substance from an “old Cuban guy.” Casas said the cream would help with his erectile dysfunction.

Arbitration documents said the cream was tested and found to contain cocaine. The city argued that it still had just cause to fire Casas because his story was “unbelievable.”

“As a police officer, Casas should have been aware of what he was putting into his body," the city said.

The arbitrator called the story “highly suspect” but ultimately found that “there is no evidence in the record to show that the grievant was aware the cream contained a controlled substance” when Casas used it.

The arbitrator’s ruling said Casas could return to duty and receive back pay as well.

Edit:

So… the guy tried to kill his roommate over a bag of Chips Ahoy…?

A central Illinois man is accused of trying to kill his female roommate for allegedly eating cookies he perhaps coveted.

Allen Hall, 23, of Decatur is charged in Macon County with attempted murder and aggravated domestic battery.

Police allege that Hall turned angry Wednesday when he learned his 49-year-old roommate ate three Chips Ahoy cookies for breakfast and threatened to kill her.

Online court records don’t show whether Hall has an attorney. He does not have a listed home telephone number.

Hall remained jailed Sunday in lieu of $75,000 bond.

[GilCMassey]

Westboro Baptist Church to picket funeral of Robin Williams

Westboro is at it again.

Edit: Apparently it won’t link.

[Chickenprotector]

I thought those shits finally died out. Guess I was wrong. It’s a similar thing to Limbaugh being in deep shit over his semantic comments about it (connecting his death with leftie being leftie problems).

In other news: https://cheezburger.com/8287747328

[CPU]

How to Survive a Serious Motorcycle Accident

[Chickenprotector]

^ Saw that before. Guy on the 2 wheeler’s fucking lucky.

Wat?

A Southern California woman woke up in her bed to find a naked burglar sleeping next to her, police said Monday.

The victim was at home in the in the 2100 block of West Civic Street in Santa Ana on July 22 when a man forced his way into the home through a window, removed his clothing and climbed into bed with her, police said.

When she awoke, she saw the man and screamed, police said. Her shriek woke up the intruder and sent him fleeing through a window. The man left behind his pants, cellphone and wallet, police said.

Police were able to identify the suspect after finding his driver’s license inside the forgotten wallet.

The suspect, identified as 29-year-old Jonathan Phan, was arrested in the presence of his attorney on Friday, police said. He faces a charge of residential burglary.

Phan is a Vietnamese actor who has a few TV credits to his name.

“It just seems really odd, probably someone not in their right mind,” said neighbor Diana Munoz.

The victim’s teenage daughter was also home at the time, police said.

[Diabolical]

A Hampshire pest controller said he took on “the biggest job of his career”, after being called to deal with a nest of more than 5,000 wasps.
John Birkett, of Longwood Services Pest Control, said removing the 3ft (91cm) nest from a bed in Winchester was his most unusual job in 45 years.
He said it would have been “extremely dangerous” if the homeowner had tried to remove it herself.
He added: “I just stood back in amazement.”
The nest was discovered by a woman at her house in St Cross, in an unused spare room, where a small window had been left open.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-hampshire-28949601

[GilCMassey]

^seriously, how do you not notice that kinda shit? She must be either pretty elderly or physically disabled. Or just never home. I mean even if you don’t go up stairs, wouldn’t your electric bill be astronomical from that window being open? It’s like that Korean girl that didn’t change her contact for like 6 months and amoebas consumed her eye. Or the lady from India that had her baby die in her, ran from the hospital to a village for care from a local healer, only to come to a hospital later (30 something years to be more accurate) to find out that there was a 36 year old skeleton in her.

[bur]

" in an unused spare room"

meaning there was no heating on, no one had probably been in that room for months at least (it probably only takes one summer to get that thing under the right conditions)

[Tiki]

@bur

(it probably only takes one summer to get that thing under the right conditions)

nah i’ve seen them happen overnight
[COLOR=’#191919’]close your windows when you go to sleep, kids

[bur]

i’d get worried about leaving my window open but i live in belgium where nothing really exciting ever happens

[sersoft]

here in canada wasp nests are usually the size of a golf ball but they can get as big as a bowling ball sometimes

[Chickenprotector]

Well you know, people do stupid things.

[Tiki]

Pretty much the most precious piece of clothing ever, forget those diamond-studded bras: https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/gallery/2012/jan/23/golden-silk-cape-spiders-in-pictures