Girl Advise

#521

yes. I am. actually, I am a woman. ACTUALLY in fact I am probably old enough to be the mother of 90% of the forumites. :frowning: Only a few of us old timers here.

#522
  1. Wrong
  2. Wrong
  3. Wrong, Maybe South Carolina or at Tea Party Protests
  4. Right
  5. Right
#523

Danson, come to Georgia. You’ll feel like the smartest motherfucker in the world. I moved here from Pennsylvania, entered the 6th grade. We took a reading test that basically saw what “grade level” of books we should be reading. Most kinds got somewhere around 2nd or 3rd grade on their results. Me and a couple friends had sophomoric college level reading levels.

The moral of this story is southerns are stupid. Not that you needed me to tell you that.

#524

CTID

I once stayed with the mayor of Atlanta (Way back in the days of music tours) when I was there, and he was friendly enough… He had three Mercedes, (Including a amazing 1959 I think it was) a 110 year old Stienway piano, (Played well, but needed tuning, and the voicing was a bit off) but hardly any furniture - Kind of creepy.

Minus all the garbage along the highway/interstate/whatever it was, I rather liked Atlanta.

One of the most annoying rednecks I have EVER met came from Georgia - This dolt was as smart as a sac of hammers, minus the hammers.

Beautiful country down that way, Also rather like Mississippi - Oddly though, as soon as you hit Florida, the IQ seems to pick up - Not so many rednecks perhaps?

#525

Of course not! Florida is the center for old people. Old people are born in Florida. Everyone knows that.
[COLOR=‘Black’]if anyone wants to know how I’m dealing with the breakup (nobody): Crying myself to sleep.

#526

inb4that’sthejoke.jpg

Elderly people move there because of Florida’s sexy weather.

#527

I know girls who would say that if they were angry at the person. It’s pretty much the most hurtful thing they could say and they knew it and took advantage of it.

#528

^ yeah.

I usually retort with “Oh? Well then why did you [insert tasty orgasm noise/action]?”

#529

“I was faking it so you wouldn’t feel bad about your tiny penis.”

#530

Fake a doctor’s note that states you have HIV, put the note in a box, wrap the box in gift paper, leave the box at her door accompanied with a note that says “Whilst I couldn’t give you what you wanted, I still gave you more than you bargained for.”

Then proceed to never answer her calls, texts and just ignore her.

Either that, or bash her skull in with a shovel and take away her right to vote. Take her back to the good old days.

#531

ffff, :ninja: 'd

#532

:stuck_out_tongue: It’s been thundering for 7 of the past 10 days where I’m at, and to “top it off” (gasoline pun you won’t understand until you read my next word), oil is just now reaching my city’s beach, and there were no fewer than 12 news trucks lined up there last night.
(oh and lol don’t forget the two cat-3 hurricane eye-walls that hit here in 2004 and 2005)

There’s a lounge on the border with Alabama, called the Florabama, which we use to stop rednecks from entering the state. They stop, and once they’re liquored up enough they know they can’t drive straight, they head home for fear of our execution sentences on drunk driving.

(Don’t tell them it’s actually fines and jail-time, we worked really hard getting those pamphlets to churches since they don’t have public schools to route them through)

#533

Should I compete over a girl and secure my dominance over another individual while remaining civil, or calmly tell her she has a choice to choose whiche ever man she wants to have a relationship with?

#534

You forgot the Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill and upcoming hurricane season

#535

fancy pants and I agreed.

I feel good now. =-)

#536

So Catz, you’ve really been wanting to see someone use that apocalypse opener, now is your chance. I have a little story.

I was out last night, visiting some old friends, and there was this girl there I had never seen before. So anyways, things just go on like one would expect, untill she come over to me, says Hi, and promptly asks me out right there on the spot. As one can imagine, I was more than a little surprised. I said we’ll see, gave her my number, etc, we chated for a while, now I have a problem.

I really like my best friend, I get along well with her and have known her for years, but I only have hints here and there that she might like me in that way, and I DON’T want to put awkward strain on our friendship by asking her out, and finding that she didn’t like me like that ever. On the other hand, if I go with this girl (who I still hardly know anything about) I may be throwing away something very good.

Whatever the case, I have decided on a course of action, as I know the ins and outs of the situation. If anyone has advice, go ahead, but I have pretty much made up my mind on what I am going to do, and I am pretty sure it will go against most of the (male) advice I will most likely get. :stuck_out_tongue:

#537

Rot:

ah yes. The “how do I cross the line without crossing the line”. I do not envy you. There IS no easy way through this. I think. Maybe. Perhaps there may be a way. AHHHhhhhh it is risky! Cuz in all the flirtations with her, you MUST continue to draw on the “friends only” vibe before and after you throw the lures out there.

I would say leave the ‘friend’ in the ‘friend’ zone but perhaps look for opportunities to let her know that she has been filed in the ‘friend’ zone till she is ready to make her move.

“ah but lynette, you KNOW I only have eyes for you. I am simply honing my love skills with barbara boobies over there for the time being.” (everyone laughs while you suck on your beer and look at the catalog on the dance floor.) Let HER be the one to say … “reaLLY??!”

“Lynette, wake up and smell the sanka, when a guy is put in the friend zone, it is CLEARLY up to the woman to make the first move. Amirite guys??!! That means YOU need to ask ME out.” (pre-scheduled agreement with everything you say from wingmen!)

(gesturing at potential pickup girl in bar) “Lynette, if you were that girl over there… would you have a drink with me?” “hell no” means you are in the friend zone. “helz yea” means you are still on the menu for her.

You may want to throw the lure out there, but what you are looking for is the body signals she puts out. Does her body push away, turn from you or does she “pshaw” your comments with a cast away gesture? Or does she giggle, or roll her eyes in embarrassment, smile prettily or otherwise give you a “say more things like that” gesture with her eyes?

Wait for it.

Was that a smile?

Look her in the eye for a moment. Maybe two.

If she avoids you… you may be best to move on. If she welcomes your stare… you may be IN!

#538

:s queels in pleasure!:

#539

First of all, what is this chating… chat-dating? Go with chat-dating, it makes you sound more intelligent than someone who makes typos. [COLOR=‘Gray’](Remember, if you ever make a mistake that could be interpreted in your favour, you did it intentionally.)

And second of all: Save yourself for your good friend! She’ll appreciate the dedication and maybe take note if she knows you’re bypassing such opportunities! But don’t tell her outright for fear of damaging the friendship if it would never work, in which case your heart is already permanently fractured. What’s one friendly night have upon years of bonding…

/is in a similar-looking boat

When I phrase it out like that, it seems a lot leakier than I initially thought it was… but I just don’t feel like jumping in the water and abandoning ship because an adjacent raft looks inviting. There’s something ultimately romantic within this song’s meaning.

And thanks, Catz, from more than the asker for responding to that question.

#540

Someone get these two off my boat.

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